There are five of us here at the Vue theater in Westfield Stratford City, East London. As if by unspoken agreement, we claim opposite corners of the auditorium in solitude, determined to avoid eye contact. No one dares to sit center. The reason? We’re all here to watch Melania, Amazon’s controversial $40 million documentary about the first lady at noon on a Friday.
What has been marketed as an insider look at the most mysterious and opaque woman in global politics is, for all intents and purposes, a part-propaganda film about the Trump administration, and an attempt to position Melania as a fashion guru with a unique knowledge of hemlines and color schemes.
“I love black-and-white,” she says in robotic voiceover at one point. “I will move forward with purpose, of course, with style.”
Truly, Melania’s opening scenes are not dissimilar from watching Miranda Priestly’s entrance in Devil’s Wear’s Prada. Soundtracked to The Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter,” we see Melania’s red-bottomed stiletto Louboutins first. She struts from various chauffeured vehicles, helicopters and planes in a five-minute montage, gliding up and down in elevators in large black sunglasses, smizing into the distance.
The plot, of sorts, follows the 20 days leading up to her husband Donald Trump’s inauguration as U.S. president for the second time.
We watch as our protagonist attends high-stakes clothes fittings, meetings with interior designers and event planners, where she appears mostly concerned about the flatness of her hat (you know, that Michael Jackson-esque inauguration number).
This is Melania’s With Love, Meghan or Gwyneth Paltrow moment: because the rich apparently see value in plucking wildly misunderstood women from the mainstream spotlight and positioning them as the latest brand-maker.
As I mull over Melania releasing a clothing line off the back of this, I begin to realize that this fashion segment is only intended to dull our minds before we are thwacked in the real direction of this film: The new power-player Camelot.
B-roll of Trump’s inauguration events repeatedly shows the company he keeps: Amazon proprietor Jeff Bezos appears alongside other tech moguls including Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Cook. Trump declares it’s time to “straighten out the nation.” Meanwhile, Melania is regularly hand-in-hand with her husband and gushes over his political achievements. In one of her more descriptive moments, she tells the camera of her spouse: “People have tried to murder him, slander him and incarcerate him — I am so very proud of him.”
There’s no hiding that Melania itself is a political bargaining chip. Amazon paid around $40 million for the rights — $28 million of that reportedly going directly to the first lady — and spent another $35 million promoting the film. And it had full backing from the Trump administration, of course: the president threw a private screening at the White House, and hosted the official premiere at the recently renamed Trump Kennedy Center.
According to reports, two-thirds of the crew did not want to have their names associated with the project. And that was before Minnesota. Then there’s further controversy surrounding the film’s director, Brett Ratner, who has not worked since 2014’s Hercules after being accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women in 2017 (Ratner has denied all allegations and has not been charged).
So, what did I learn from watching 104 minutes of Melania? It’s hard to say - mainly because she says so little. I can’t speak for my new friends at the theater, but erm, maybe that Melania’s favorite recording artist is Michael Jackson? Or that “Billie Jean” is her favorite song? No, really - she knows all the words!
Melania leaves every question you’ve ever asked about the first lady completely unanswered. In fact, I came away with a longer list of queries.
When the credits rolled, the remaining four movie-goers synchronize very staggered exits, leaving no chance for eye contact or interaction. What was there to talk about, anyway?
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