I know Trump has an ‘alcoholic’s personality’ because I have one too

Although Wiles has since distanced herself from the piece in a post on X, calling it “a disingenuously framed hit piece”, the Vanity Fair writer Chris Whipple, who met with Wiles 11 times over 11 months, says that “everything is on tape”.

Yet one thing is clear: Wiles, 68, who played a key part in Trump's successful 2024 presidential campaign before becoming the first woman to be White House chief of staff, is in a position to label Trump an “alcoholic’s personality” – as am I.

As she explains in the interview, her own father, the legendary NFL broadcaster Pat Summerall, was an alcoholic who went through the Betty Ford Clinic in 1992 – and it makes her “a little bit of an expert in big personalities”. As Wiles put it: He “operates [with] a view that there’s nothing he can’t do. Nothing, zero, nothing.”

I am a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 20 years and I, like Susie, recognise the red flag “alcoholic’s personality” traits rather too vividly in Trump. For me, it’s a case of “if you spot it, you got it”.

This single-minded determination that Wiles is describing – that obsessive “it’s your way, or the highway” – is textbook “dry drunk” behaviour.

I should know. When I hit rock bottom and arrived in rehab at the Priory in my early twenties, as well as many other rehabs up and down the country, I was handed many books about the alcoholic personality to educate myself on my affliction.

Until then, I’d always thought that it was just alcohol that was my problem and that if I could just quit drinking, I’d be fine. I was misguided. As I realised when I gave up alcohol, it was only the tip of the iceberg. My alcoholic personality was always there on my shoulder, like a monkey, and could destroy me and everything around me like a train without brakes, with or without substances.

Trump’s behaviour suggests that he is fearful of spiralling into addiction himself. He doesn’t drink at all. He was put off after he experienced its destruction in his much-loved older brother Fred, an alcoholic, who died in 1981 at the age of 42 from a heart attack brought on by excessive drinking.

Trump told Fox News after his election in 2016: “If you don’t start, you’re never going to have a problem. If you do start, you might have a problem. And it’s a tough problem to stop.”

But the truth is, as I have experienced, just because somebody doesn’t drink, doesn’t mean they aren’t riddled with the “isms” which can come out in relationships, shopping, sex, food, work, love and gambling – and many other ways.

In rehab, we learnt about “King Baby” (aka the alcoholic’s personality) – a term coined by Freud. The characteristics of a “King Baby” include difficulty accepting criticism or feedback; blaming others for problems or mistakes; expecting special treatment or believing normal rules do not apply to them; avoiding personal responsibility, a constant need for approval and validation from others; and all-or-nothing thinking and seeing situations in extremes.

“An alcoholic personality probably means somebody who is not drinking alcohol, but has an addictive personality that will manifest in all domains, in relationships, whether that is with people, food, sex, money, or shopping, and is driven by a need for more,” says Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon, an addiction specialist and founder of Chelsea Recovery Associates.

“Nothing is ever really going to be enough,” he adds. “In the same way, there is never enough alcohol for an alcoholic, for the alcoholic personality that is not drinking, that sense of not enough will express itself in all other areas of life.” Importantly, he says, it will be accompanied by a “disregard for other people” because he says “the alcoholic’s personality at root thinks he or she is the centre of the universe”.

“They are self-centred, obsessive, compulsive, impulsive – and typically in denial,” he adds.

Likewise, the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book describes the alcoholic’s personality as “selfishness – self-centredness!” “That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows.”

When I ended up in rehab, it was painful working out that the world didn’t revolve around me, as I was confronted in group therapy and forced to see my blind spots. I was clueless – and had never considered how anyone else might feel. I had to change my behaviour and thinking, or most likely, die.

Then I was driven by obsession and compulsion, sober. Even in romantic relationships, I was a love addict who was seeking a relationship to fill a void. I was often the last person to realise anything was wrong with my behaviour or thinking – because I was often in denial.

Now over 20 years sober, if I don’t continue to work on myself – and have self-awareness – I will end up with zero compromise and an authoritarian or inflexible stance, which is known in recovery circles as “self will run riot”, and it usually ends in tears.

It has taken me years of hard work to slow down enough not to react like a firecracker – and to look at my true motives. I have had to turn my life around by being of service to others rather than looking out for myself 24/7, and to learn how to sit with my feelings rather than constantly act out on them.

Mainly, I have had to learn to love myself, re-parent myself, and to apologise when my “alcoholic personality” cuts people off mid-sentence, and fails to see any other point of view than my own.

Many people believe a leopard never changes its spots, but this is dangerous thinking.

Change is the only way to survive alcoholism – or the alcoholic’s personality – but sadly, unless you hit a major rock bottom, change isn’t a priority. Being a “King Baby” without drinking is like being high on power, and it has its plus points. Nothing will get in your way, and failure is not an option. There is simply no time to do any deep soul searching when you’re stuck in that gear; you’re unstoppable – and are always the last person to realise you’re totally insane.