Zlatan Ibrahimovic

"Of course you can rely on me in the big games Pep." Zlatan's already epic nose suddenly seems to increase in size, according to Thomas Nycz-Losi Photograph: n/a

Adam Michie provides a literal take on Jose Mourinho laughing all the way to the bank. And presumably missed the bit where Alexander Hleb was left out of the the deal Photograph: n/a

"Here's my Karate-Kid-inspired effort," boasts Jamie Navarro. "Y'know, cos' he is a black belt at Judo. It's basically the same, right?" No, not really, but he does look a bit like Daniel LaRusso Photograph: n/a

"Zlatan Scrubs up with his new mates to electrify European football," honks Brian Corcoran Photograph: n/a

"Take two footballers... make one rich, make the other even richer," parps Alexander Howard-Jones. "Just watch the fun while they're... TRADING PLACES" Photograph: n/a

"Lifelong platonic friends Zlatan and Sam look to solve their respective cash-flow problems by making a transfer together," titters Tel Supple. "As the deal unfolds, however, the duo begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought" Photograph: n/a

"Big game bottler gone, Big Cup game-winning striker arrived, and a sack full of money to boot. Massimo Moratti pays Homage to Catalonia," says Rob Moline, who assures us that the arm sticking out of the Volvo is that of Zlatan Ibrahimovic Photograph: n/a

Tony Hewitt has an urgent message for you: "Hurry over to Player.com for our overly expensive summer sale NOW!" Photograph: n/a

Zlatan's thoughts on Serie A are of the Tony Montana variety, according to Tom Topoll Photograph: n/a

"Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same striker, unaware that his manager, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to make things a whole lot more caliente." And this left-field number comes courtesy of the bizarrely-named Coachie Ballgames Photograph: n/a