YouTube sensation Jack Dean says he thinks about dying 15 times a day as he bravely opened up about his mental health battles.
The 28-year-old social media favourite, known to his fans as JaackMaate, was the latest guest of Steven Bartlett as he took part in his Diary Of A CEO podcast.
The Dragon invited the 28-year-old on to talk about his life and career and things got very personal.
Jack opened up about his family trauma, and says he hasn't spoken to his mother for nearly a decade. He also told the businessman that his dad went to prison for manslaughter after a pub fight when he was young.
But the Norwich native's remarks about his struggles is sure to stun fans and he told Steven that he cannot go and see the doctor because of what he may find out.
He said: "I really struggle with health anxiety and OCD. There are probably 15 to 20 times a day that I actually convince myself that I have cancer. It consumes my life. If an advert comes on for Cancer Research then I have to turn it off.
"My brain is telling me I have it, I'm ill. It has grown and taken so many tangents. I obsess over time and sunsets, oddly.
"I am too fearful to go and get my health checked out.
"If I go and see the doctor and he says 'yeah, you're ill' then that's the end for me. I can't live with knowing I am ill.
"There's no recovery process. I would just shut down."
Stephen chimed in: "I think it's so great you are so open about this, there will be so many who can relate."
Jack, who has nearly 1.5m subscribers, says his issues probably stem from a challenging childhood.
He said: "I didn't get on with my mum growing up. She would do and say things that a mum shouldn't do. We're only on nodding terms at family events now, we've hardly seen each other for nine years.
"She didn't understand the potential in YouTube, in what I was doing.
"She has her issues with alcohol and she kicked me out, I was living in my uncle's box room. Ever since that moment I took it seriously."
Taking about his school years, he confessed: "I was a bit of a p**** to teachers, I was bad to one in particular - I would love to reconnect with her.
"Being the ginger kid I tried to fit in by being the class clown."
Listen to Steven Bartlett's Diary Of A CEO podcast here.
