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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
imaginary unicorn

Your stories: How to be a girl – poem

Louise O'Neill
Louise O'Neill, the novelist who inspired this poem.
Photograph: Miki Barlok/Publicity image from publisher

you need to be pretty
but not so pretty that you know it,
because, let’s face it,
mild insecurity is quirky,
isn’t it?

quirky, but not too quirky
because hospital walls and
powdery white pills,
well,
they aren’t suitable
for a girl like you,
are they?

cleverness is key
but dear, don’t worry about
physics, or say, maths
or anything involving numbers really-
you’re a girl,
remember?

don’t forget the coy smiles,
and the giggles
oh, you mustn’t ever forget the giggling
is there a better sound to punctuate a girl’s presence?
...silence, i suppose
after all, you’re a girl
don’t you know?

be available, but not too available
because, well, that’s just clingy.
and, whoever heard of the clingy girl,
who got her glass slipper,
and the happily ever after?

after all
that’s the goal,
the ending,
the grand finale,
isn’t it?
the poofy white dress,
(and apron for the days after)
and the “Honey, I’m home”

you’re a girl
and don’t you forget it

Are you a budding writer or poet? Join the Children’s books site and send us your scribblings!

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