It was while watching the repeat of Nature's Great Events that we decided in our house that we would quite like David Attenborough to be our granddad. At the time, it didn't seem quite so creepy as it does now I write it down, but I stand by it still: it would be ace to pop round to Sir David's of a Saturday morning and hear tell of his travels, the animals he's met, the wildernesses he's wandered, the ginormous waterfalls he's seen.
That got me thinking. If, of all the clever elderly gentlemen on telly, Sir David was the ideal granddad, who would be the ideal granny? At first I thought of Sheila Hancock, but then decided she was a bit young and would be better as a elegant but mischievous great aunt (see also Gemma Jones, Penelope Wilton and Judi Dench) who'd come round with her glamorous daughter – Aunty Joanna Lumley, obviously – and tell racy stories of her youth after one too many sloe gins and lemonade. (I have it all worked out in my head, you know).
Obviously the ideal mum off the telly would be Julie Walters, who has the added bonus of looking a bit like my real mum, and other aunties would include Harriet Walter. For uncles, I'd pick Pete Postlethwaite, Ken Stott and Neil Dudgeon. And who wouldn't like David Tennant as a big brother and Sharon Horgan for a slightly crazy cousin?
Now obviously no one can replace relatives that we know and love – no, not even famous people – and you may think it a little too revealing to go into great detail about your fantasy parents (Bzzz! "Dr Freud will see you now") but really, don't be shy. Share with the group. We won't judge. Unless you admit to wanting James Corden as a wee brother.
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