“It could be awkward,” warns Steve Jones, eyebrow aloft, at the beginning of Young, Free & Single Live. “It could be uncomfortable.” He’s not wrong. Welcome to E4’s new “interactive” dating show, where the squirm-worthy moments – not to mention the double entendres – come thick and fast.
The format for YFS:L is simple: a motley crew of singletons thrown together in east London are set up on dates at a rib shack or a cocktail bar. They later gather together to observe how things went as the show goes out live.
This being 2015, Young, Free & Single: Live boasts that it is “interactive”. And that doesn’t just mean the audience screaming at Jones whenever he mentions sexual chemistry. Jones also pauses the action at crucial points, when the contestants are bombarded with feedback from viewers. Tweets lurk across the screen, celebrating bad grammar in all its glory.
All very contemporary, but you can’t help but think that the show’s creators could have gone further. If it was truly interactive, the public would have an ejector seat powered by hashtags, ready to blast the odious daters into space. There isn’t even any swiping going on, or an app that summons the rejects to your house, which is surely missing a trick in the era of Tinder and Grindr. The only time social media boundaries are really pushed is when a tweet pops up calling Jazz, who earlier used the phrase “deep vaginal drilling”, a “sket”. Either the moderators hadn’t checked Urban Dictionary, or it is the kind of show that sees no problem with branding young women as promiscuous because of the words they choose.
Yes, Young Free & Single: Live is trashy and filthy – and there is no real point to it being live. But its deep-rooted problem is the sub-Big Brother showmance-seekers and their dubious attitudes towards sexual politics. The anti-Cilla, Jones fuels their fire, referring to sex as a “sleepover” in finger commas, which is surprisingly coy for someone who has been cracking out single entendres of the quality of “take her up the Shard” all night long.
Predictably, the daters are a right bunch of “characters”. Why can’t Tom get past the second date? Is it his ironic appreciation of Heartbeat, his foot fetish or his comedy tongue, which pokes out at every opportunity? It probably has more to do with him calling his date a Milf, chewing her lip, then having what Jones would refer to as a “sleepover” with another woman.
Perhaps the worst offender is Mr “Netflix and Chill” AJ (real name Craig), who winds up his date into such a frenzy she uses the word “period” as a verb. And yes, she’s talking menstruation. Don’t ask. Laura, meanwhile, deals with her potential soulmate’s announcement that he is bisexual by asking him if he’s a “top or bottom”. Hey, she’s OK with it because he’s a top.
The most realistic date belongs to 18-year-old Alex, and that is because she spends most of it texting her mum. As for the most pleasant date, Dean, who will not tolerate a “shit shoe”, is matched with Connor, who turns up slightly refreshed and burps in his face. Somehow he’s still nicer than the others.
Couldn’t we have dating shows that reflect the actual lives of millennials instead of these scripted show-ponies? Back in the 80s, Blind Date worked for everyone from twentysomethings to more mature types, many of whom would end up doing an embarrassing MC Hammer dance. The 90s saw MTV’s Singled Out bring matchmaking to a club setting, while for the more in-your-face crowd, the chance to be chased by Davina McCall threatening to hump your leg on Streetmate struck a chord.
And now? Choose from pumped-up meat market Take Me Out or sunburned shagathon Love Island, which is no better than Dapper Laughs: On the Pull when it comes to defining women as little more than overly contoured bikini-fillers. The only show standing Canute-like against this tide of terribleness is First Dates, which bucks the trend of horror mating in favour of a nice bit of dinner.
Young, Free & Single: Live, meanwhile, does nothing to move the genre forward, despite its multiple hashtags. What it needs is real people, not Big Brother rejects. Show them swiping right on Tinder, having a cheeky freshen up and getting the bus round to a stranger’s house for a “sleepover”. Just check Steve Jones isn’t hiding under the bed with his big box of innuendoes first.
