A Los Angeles woman ended up in a fraught situation after she ran into a man from her DMs in public. She explains why the interaction led to her having to do a “Hey Girly” text in real life.
Cat (@bigkittyenergy) is a model with about 150k followers on TikTok. She recently posted a video about how a random direct message turned into a full-on episode of Jerry Springer.
“Babes, I had to do a ‘hey girly’ tonight and I feel really [expletive] about it,” Cat says to start the video.
How the Conversation Started
The whole thing started with a DM from a man stating that he really enjoyed her content and thought she was beautiful and funny.
“I was like, ‘Thanks, king, have a good day, thanks for following,’” Cat recalls. “He didn’t have any info or pictures or anything on his TikTok. It was literally just a follow account. Clearly, he was just here creeping on people. Which is fine. A lot of people do that.”
That would’ve been the end of it, but the man reached out again with another compliment. Cat didn’t respond.
“Then he sends me a third message the next day and it was a picture of him,” she says. The picture was accompanied by a dinner invitation.
One thing that stood out to Cat was that the man was wearing a Caterpillar-brand hat, which is stylized as CAT. “I’m like, OK,” Cat says.
Then the man reveals he doesn’t have an Instagram account, but he is willing to send Cat his LinkedIn page so that she can confirm he’s a real person. She doesn’t respond, but does visit his profile and sees that he lives in L.A. and works as a creative director.
Cat Sees the Caterpillar Guy In Public
Cat still hadn’t responded to the man’s advances later that week when she was out with a friend at a nearby bar, catching up over drinks. She heard a woman’s laugh at a nearby table and looked over. That’s when she noticed a familiar “CAT” logo on the hat worn by the woman’s companion.
“Then I look closer, and I’m like, ‘Why does that man look so familiar? Wait a minute. That kind of looks like that dude that DM’d me,’” Cat says. “I pull up the DM and I show my friend. I’m like, ‘Do you think that’s the same guy?’”
Cat and her friend confirm that the man in the bar looks exactly like the man in her DMs. They assume that the man is there on a date with the woman. Cat did wonder why the man made a pass at her if he was already dating another woman, but she didn’t think too much of it.
The ‘Hey Girly’ In Real Life
That is, until later, when she encountered the man’s date at the bar.
“I look over and I notice that the girl has a huge engagement ring,” Cat says. “So I turn to her and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, your ring is so beautiful.’”
After thanking Cat, the woman revealed that she recently got engaged to her boyfriend of four years. When Cat asked if her fiancé was at the bar, the woman confirmed that the man with the Caterpillar hat was her fiancé.
This left Cat in a predicament. She can either let the woman go or clue her into the fact that her fiancé was maybe leading a double life on social media.
“I just made a very split decision that I still don’t know if it was the right choice. But I felt energetically and spiritually that this is what I needed to do,” Cat says.
Cat spills
Cat says she told the woman that she needed to show her something and then opened her phone to reveal the TikTok DMs, which of course included a photo of the man. The woman was horrified to confirm that the photo was of her fiancé. “Immediately, I see on her face that it’s her man,” Cat says.
The woman started hyperventilating at the bar and asked Cat if she would accompany her to confront the fiancé. Initially, the man denied being the DMer, but Cat showed them a message that contained his cell phone number. The woman also said the text messages match the fiancé’s texting style.
The couple eventually left the bar together and Cat returned to her friend. Ultimately, Cat says she doesn’t know whether the man was telling the truth and someone was impersonating him on social media or if he was in fact cheating on his fiancée with other women.
“I truly feel in my heart that I did the right thing,” she says. “I just gave her the information that I had. But I feel so bad for her. I would hope that someone would’ve done the same for me, so that’s why I did it.”
@bigkittyenergy Checked and his account is no longer active now ? #heygirly #storytime #cheating #caught #fyp ♬ original sound – Cat ??♀️
Viewers React to the IRL ‘Hey Girly’ Moment
In the comments, viewers expressed shock at how Cat had to do a ‘Hey Girly’ in real life, which is the name given to the act of messaging another woman to let her know her significant other is cheating on her. Usually, the women will start their message with “hey girly” to appear non-confrontational and sympathetic. The greeting is now known online as the dreaded text no one wants to receive.
“This was handed to you on a silver platter,” wrote one woman under Cat’s video. “You did what you had to do.”
“‘Hey girly’ actually saved me from a lifetime of trauma and mediocracy,” wrote a second. “Still grateful for that girl.”
“You saved her LIFE,” said a third person.
Unfortunately, the “hey girly” moment seems to be a rite of passage in the dating world. Reddit users discuss the realities in a thread posted to r/AskWomenNoCensor a year ago. One person said, “Be prepared for her to not believe you, be angry with you or just plain ignore you. If she doesn’t react that way then that’s great, but if she does at least you’re prepared.”
The Mary Sue reached out to Cat via email for comment.
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