Be careful what you wish for... Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. Photograph: Alex Bailey
Juicy. Saucy. Luscious. It sounds like reviewers sat down with a knife and fork and tucked into The Other Boleyn Girl rather than just watched it. The sister-on-sister battle for the honour of producing a male heir for Henry VIII (Eric Bana) is clearly like some big guilty take-out treat. It either hits the spot or leaves you feeling queasily unsatisfied.
The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw lapped it up: "It is ridiculous, but imagined with humour and gusto: a very diverting gallop through the heritage landscape." And Variety says director Justin Chadwick dishes up "a sexy, good-looking political bodice-ripper with an almost flawless cast at the top of its game".
Everyone agrees that it all looks fantastic, especially the two leads. Scarlett Johansson (Mary, the good blonde sister) and Natalie Portman (Anne, the bad brunette one) as the two leading ladies are, as Time Out notes, "a producer's wet dream". But the end product is too bland, too polite. "Where are the sparks? The dirt? The sex?" The magazine is not alone in finding it a bit thin. The New York Times calls it "underwritten and overedited" and warns that "Ms Portman's eyes, Mr Bana's hands and Ms Johansson's chin all receive vigorous workouts."
The Times' critic, James Christopher, writes: "Women will adore the sibling scrap." But that doesn't seem to be a good thing. He dons his executioner's hood to dismiss the cast as "skin-cream gorgeous" and the film as "a ravishing piece of trash". He does, however, make the sage point that "a chick-flick romance featuring Henry VIII is surely an insane contradiction in terms, considering his axe-happy way with wives."
Have you been? Who did you go with? How did your innards feel afterwards?
