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You're Gonna Hit Your Head All The Time If BMW Brings This Scooter Concept to Life

Listen, I love weird bikes and hybrids. Down to my toes. And, I kinda get why BMW would want to revisit the totally strange enclosed C1 scooter idea with a new, electrified concept. After all, the CE-04 and CE-02 are clearly going down a completely different path from all the brand's other vehicles, so why not get weird with it

But I'm sorry to say that the BMW Motorrad Vision CE Concept looks like the misbegotten spawn of a CE-04 and a golf cart. And while BMW might say, and I quote, that "its unique cage design ... eliminates the need for a helmet or protective clothing," you're probably going to at least want a helmet just to keep from bonking your head repeatedly (and subsequently swearing loudly) as you get in and out of the saddle multiple times a day if you ride one.

Seriously, look at this thing. I'm a short person with corgi legs (5'3" for reference), and even I'm concerned that I'm gonna hit my head. All you people who are taller than me, I'm really and truly concerned for your cranial comfort in this thing. Does it come with a free bottle of ibuprofen and a special space for ice packs on board?

Honestly, when I first saw it, I hastily checked the calendar to make sure I wasn't completely losing my mind, and that it wasn't actually April 1. (It isn't, I've checked.) 

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I'm still not entirely sure BMW isn't just having a big joke at all of our expense with this thing, especially when you take some of its chosen AI-generated imagery into account. We've gone over BMW's penchant for AI imagery with its vehicles at length, so I'll spare you the rant here except to say that it's still wholly unnecessary, and only serves to confuse the issue if you do, in fact, have an actual concept vehicle you're trying to show off.

But I'm gonna show you it anyway to illustrate my point. Is ... is BMW having a laugh at our expense?

I present Exhibit A here.

 Some other AI-generated fever dream scenarios involve testing the BMW Motorrad Vision CE Concept's mettle at Bonneville, like so:

And while this does just appear to be a flight of CG fancy, could it actually be a spoiler for the upcoming third Tron movie, sneakily snuck into the packet of press images (can't call them all photos, now can we?) for this concept?

Also, did I forget to mention the seatbelt? There's a seatbelt in this concept design, too. In fact, it appears to be an entire harness; maybe not quite racecar-spec, but it's got shoulder and waist straps to snug you in good and tight while you're riding.

So, presumably, you'll need to curl yourself up into the fetal position inside the harness if you crash in this thing? In a side-by-side, one of the first things anyone teaches you is that if you roll over, you should resist the urge to stick your hands anywhere outside the roll cage, because that's how you get seriously injured. Since the BMW Motorrad Vision CE Concept is essential an EV scooter with a roll cage on top, those same rules would probably still apply. Don't stick your hands, feet, or any part of your body outside the cockpit in the event of a crash. 

Especially since, as BMW says, this roll cage (and yes, BMW does actually refer to it as a "cage") will apparently eliminate the need to wear any protective gear. Notably, in actual side-by-sides, it's usually advisable to still wear at least a helmet and gloves, although plenty of folks still choose not to. I'm purposely not bringing up the fact that "cagers" is a term derogatorily used to refer to car drivers by some riders here, because maybe that's not a thing in Germany? 

Anyway, in conclusion, I ask you this question, and I swear I'm asking it seriously and not at all in a mean-spirited way. Is there anyone who thinks that the BMW Motorrad Vision CE Concept is a good idea that they want to see come to fruition as a vehicle you can actually buy? If that's you, please feel free to enlighten me in the comments as to why. 

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