A couple who have dedicated the last 14 years to providing a loving home for children in care are urging others to become foster parents.
Elaine and Iain Polke, from Cumbernauld, have three children of their own, aged between 13 and 17, but took the decision to open their home to some of Scotland's most vulnerable youngsters - and have never looked back.
Elaine said after seeing the value in being a stay-at-home mum with her own three children when they were young, she and Iain decided to give others that same chance of a nurturing home.
She said: "I think I was the one who introduced the idea of fostering. When our children were younger, I used to stay at home with them and I think it was one of the happiest times for me so that’s where the conversation started.
“We did think about doing childminding to begin with, just as we had helped look after friends' children in the past, but then when we decided to look into fostering and the more we talked about it, the more it just sounded right for us.
“It has been an experience for all of us. You don’t just start fostering as a couple, it is an entire family decision.”
But it wasn't all plain sailing. Elaine recalls how their first experience as foster parents almost put them off for life.
She said: "It can be an emotional roller-coaster. We tried our best to maintain a stable and consistent home for the young boy but as he got older, he just needed a more specialist foster carer. Sometimes that’s the way it is and, in this case, it worked out for the best for him.
"The process of welcoming a child into our home was quite a change for our birth children, but it’s a change we were willing to work at and it worked out for the best in the end.”
Taking their time to reflect, the couple considered respite but after speaking to the team at the Foster Care Association (FCA), the couple soon welcomed twin girls into the home, which was a turning point for the Polke family.
Elaine said the girls reignited their passion to foster and prompted a fundamental change in the type of carers they wanted to be.
She said: "When you open your home, you do open your heart to these children. Unfortunately, the twins got moved by the local authority and that truly felt like a loss in the family as our children adored the twins.
"I do think that was a turning point in our lives as we realised, we couldn’t keep doing short-term fostering. We couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to children that we made a strong bond with which led to our decision to only take on children and young people long term."
Iain added: "I remember welcoming our first child, and we still talk about it to this day. He came to us when he was four and he has just recently turned 16 which was a great milestone to celebrate.
"He also has additional learning needs so that was also our first experience for us but the whole experience just felt natural.
For the couple, one of the most rewarding parts of fostering has been being a part of their foster children’s journeys.
Elaine said: "When our daughter arrived, she was only 11 years old, and she was still wearing nappies and didn’t have great speech.
"To help her, we used to dress up in all sorts of costumes to help make toilet training more fun and engaging, but it worked.
"She is now in pants every day and that is a huge achievement. To be a part of that journey with her was just amazing.”
Iain added: "Sometimes we overlook these changes just because we are living with them every day but then you get a reality check like this experience, and it makes you realise the positive impact we have had on young people’s lives."
For those looking to become foster carers, the couple shared some of their advice.
Elaine said: "Honestly, it is the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. Just make sure you go along to the ‘Skills to Foster’ sessions because you learn so much.
"You will continue to learn when you welcome your first child, but just learn as much as possible to make sure this is the right path for you and your family."
Iain added: "It is not a job or a career; it is a way of life. It is not for everybody but if you dip your toes in and you like it, run with it because you will never look back."
A Scottish Government spokesperson said: "We value the commitment that foster carers and their families make to provide loving and caring homes for children and young people.
"We provide funding for the Fostering Network Scotland to help them highlight the value of fostering and to encourage more people to come forward to foster.”
To find out more about fostering and for further information, click here.
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