Q: Although you have every intention of attending an event, the deadline to RSVP came and went with no response from you. How should you communicate this to the host?
Respond in a more personal way, such as a phone call, instead of just dropping the invite in the mail.
Say, "I'm sorry I did not send in the RSVP card, but I'm putting it in the mail today, and hopefully it's not too late to attend."
Typically the RSVP cutoff date is a month before the event, so this should work up until a week before the event date.
After that, you should count yourself out _ the host has most likely arranged tables, made place cards and given a final count to the caterer.
Use this rule of thumb for formal event such as weddings and bar mitzvahs. Events such as baby showers or birthday parties have more leniency.
_ Katie Goggin, co-owner of Designer Event Chicago
Ask if there is still room for you. Most likely the host will still say, "Absolutely. I'm so glad you can make it."
But if the event is a week to 10 days out and the host has not contacted you, it's safer to assume you're not going.
Still send a note, though _ giving an answer, even if it's late, is better than nothing.
And for less formal events, RSVPing three days before should be adequate.
Above all, RSVP. Showing up unannounced or not showing up at all are far worse than missing the deadline.
_ Lori Stephenson, owner and principal consultant at Lola Event Productions
