Donald Trump’s cabinet may have sworn an oath to the Constitution. But on Tuesday, it looked far more like they’d pledged undying loyalty to him. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem spent her time proving the internet trolls right by crediting Trump with preventing actual hurricanes.
During a televised cabinet meeting on Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2025, Trump’s cabinet members used half the time to sing Trump’s praises instead of discussing governance. But Kristi Noem stood out with her outlandish script. It almost seemed like she got it written from whichever MAGA loyalist is making those “Trump is King” AI videos.
The introduction to her speech was cloying enough:
You are a great American. The fights that you pick are the right fights, and they’re always on behalf of this country, so I appreciate the chance to do this job, heading up this department.
But it kept getting worse. Noem quickly pivoted to the week’s running Trump themes. She attacked Joe Biden, praised deportations, and promised reinforcements for the immigration crackdown. She announced that the administration’s “10,000th ICE officer” would be on duty within ten days, ready to send more immigrants “home for the holidays.” And before we knew, she looped back into another round of praise for the president.
Then came the moment that sent the internet into collective disbelief. Right after touting deportations, Noem pivoted abruptly to meteorology. Speaking directly to Trump, she said, “Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane.” Now that is a questionable claim, but still within shouting distance of reality. But then, she added,
“Even you kept the hurricanes away, so we appreciate that.”
No, it wasn’t satire. No, she wasn’t joking. And no, it wasn’t an SNL skit. Noem continued her performance by applauding the Federal Emergency Management Agency. She insists they are now “deploying resources and dollars 150% faster than ever before,” all thanks to Trump. “If something bad happens to somebody,” she said, “you are immediately there.”
Unsurprisingly, none of her “facts” aligns with reality. As of the end of November, Trump had already denied at least a dozen federal disaster-aid requests. So, Noem’s narrative is simply a fan fiction to boost the man-child president’s ego. She also attempted to defend Trump’s controversial boat strikes, claiming they had “saved hundreds of millions of lives.”
Then, in a cringeworthy boot-licking statement, she attacked Governor Tim Walz
You told me to look into Minnesota and their fraud on visas and their programs. 50% of them are fraudulent, which means that that wacko Governor Walz either is an idiot or he did it on purpose. And I think he’s both, sir.
The “sir” with statements crafted especially to please him probably gave an ick to half the people watching her speak. One user joked, “Kim Jong Un could only dream of having the cabinet Trump has.” Poking fun at Noem’s outrageous hurricane claim, one asked, “Did he use the magic Sharpie to change the weather?” Another admitted, “I didn’t have Trump controls hurricanes on my BINGO card.” And honestly, neither did we. But here we are. Trump and his cabinet never fail to define and redefine the word “cringe.”
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