Q: You don't like the way your partner dresses, but you don't want to sound insulting. Should you say something about needing a new look?
This depends on the dynamics of the relationship. There are people you can be completely honest with, some you should be more careful with, and others you may have to keep opinions from altogether.
If you have the kind of relationship in which you can be honest, it's OK to say your partner needs a new look. But remember to be positive. Don't say, "That doesn't look good on you," but instead say, "That length, cut, color, etc., doesn't seem to be working, but you always look good in this." Not only are you being complimentary, you're offering an alternative.
If you don't feel comfortable giving honest feedback, there is still a way to encourage adjustments. When your partner does wear something good, even if one detail has changed, over-compliment that. Emphasize it's the style and not the article of clothing itself. Your partner will feel good and want to wear more things like that.
_ Jen Ublasi, stylist and wardrobe consultant
The very best way to address this issue is to give your partner a spa and makeover day. Make sure you line up personal shoppers at his or her favorite clothing stores. The caveat: You must offer to foot the bill!
Set reasonable expectations about what your budget is before your partner begins the shopping experience. And go along _ your partner will love it.
Saying things like, "I'd like to change you," or "You should change your hairstyle, clothing, etc.," can make your partner feel criticized and insecure. The best way to suggest a change is to shop together and then give words of affirmation only when your partner is wearing what you enjoy.
Making it a fun outing together creates excitement and bonding, instead of you being perceived as critical.
_ Lauren Frances, relationship expert
