I’ve always wondered why Boots makes its carrier bags so profoundly see-through. Sure, they may look opaque when they’re lying innocently empty and unburdened, but shove something inside and it rubs teasingly against the translucent plastic, declaring its presence for all to see. Just as I always look in other people’s supermarket trolleys, so I peer at their Boots bags — which are, perhaps, a passive-aggressive reprimand for neglecting to carry a reusable shopping bag at all times.
A ‘f*** you’ from the planet.
And so I tuck my white tubs of Epsom salts into my handbag, unwilling for them to shriek their laxative properties to the world. Except I don’t buy them for their legendary emetic power; I smuggle them home to use as a hair volumiser.
Epsom salts — old-fashioned and fantastically cheap — are a beauty secret. Mix one part salts with one part conditioner and one part water, leave on the hair for 20 minutes and then rinse. Result: thickened, fattened hair. Mix one part salts with one part cleanser. Result: excellent facial exfoliant. Chuck some in a hot bath for a detoxifying, muscle-relaxing, mood-elevating, skin-softening soak.
But, to keep your bathroom poetic, perhaps decant them into a picturesque (or at least unlabelled) glass jar. Otherwise everyone will assume the purgative worst. And they will point and giggle. And you will tell them that it’s a hair thickener. And they won’t believe you.
Boots Epsom Salts, £1.25 for 200g (boots.com)
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