The prosecution: Alice
We’ve been married for 63 years and are stuck in a food rut. It’s time to try something new
I have been cooking for my husband, Lyndon, for most of my adult life, but after 63 years of marriage, I want to spice our meals up. He’s a very simple eater – he likes cottage pies, roasts with meat and two veg – but I’m getting bored of all that. I’m facing a bit of resistance, though.
I’ve bought ingredients like Thai mixed spices, but I rarely use them as Lyndon kicks up a fuss. Curry does not pass his lips – he really dislikes it. He also hates pasta.
I try to encourage him to eat foods from around the world, but he just says: “I’m not eating that rubbish.” It’s very narrow-minded. He’s also not fond of quiches or lasagne. He likes me to make a lot of roasts with potatoes, beetroot, cabbage and tomatoes from our garden. He says: “English food is the best.” But I always say: “There’s more out there.”
Recently I’ve been sneaking a bit of cayenne pepper into the mince when I make a shepherd’s pie. Lyndon loves it. He will say, “That was tasty,” which I find amusing. I’m 83 now and over the years I’ve learned various ways to be sneaky in our marriage.
I will try something new when we eat out, but Lyndon will always stick to what he knows. One time in a restaurant, he sent back a turkey steak because it was too spicy. He made a scene, which I found embarrassing.
We both eat differently now compared to when we met in 1955. I’ve become more adventurous, but Lyndon has gone the opposite way. We were just children when the second world war ended, but rationing went on for years. Nobody knew what pizza was. Over the years there has been a food revolution with interesting cuisines available everywhere, which I love.
I’ve got Lyndon into frozen pizzas and now he thinks they are very tasty – but he doesn’t like them too often. When I ask him what he likes for dinner, he says: “Cook whatever is easiest.” But if I serve up a lasagne, there’s a chance he will get into a huff. It’s not worth the argument. Lyndon needs to broaden his palate.
The defence: Lyndon
I’m 87 and like traditional British dishes. I don’t enjoy spicy food, so what’s the point in changing now?
Traditional British food is my favourite cuisine. I don’t need my dishes to be of a ridiculously high standard but I like what I like. I’m 87, so really, at my age, what’s the point in changing?
I’m not one for curry. I had it a couple of times and I can’t deal with the spice, even when it’s mild. I like my food seasoned but not too much. I don’t want things to be completely bland but I don’t like too many spices or herbs. If we are eating out and I have to foot the bill for something I didn’t enjoy, I’ll be very annoyed. The time I sent back the spicy turkey steak at a restaurant was justified – it was inedible, you couldn’t taste the meat. I know Alice was embarrassed but that’s just how I am.
I don’t agree with Alice that I’m a fussy or boring eater. Once we went away to Scotland and ended up at a Thai restaurant, where the food was excellent. I usually stick to what I know, but on that occasion, I felt more adventurous. That doesn’t happen very often, though.
Alice enjoys eating different cuisines. That’s fine; we can each do what we like outside the home. Inside it, I think we should stick to what we’ve always done.
Every day we have a pudding and I always say to Alice, “Make whatever is easiest”: apple pies, rice pudding, crumbles. I’m not fussy. We’ve been lucky with our health so far and I put that down to eating a varied but traditional British diet. Why fix what’s not broken?
I don’t think I’m difficult to cater for. I seldom quibble. If Alice serves a quiche or pasta, I might complain because I find those dishes boring and insubstantial. I prefer meat and two veg as it’s more interesting and balanced.
There are times when Alice doesn’t come up to scratch with her cooking, but I won’t say anything. We’ve been married so long there’s no point. And I don’t mind the occasional lasagne or pizza these days.
After 63 years, you’re so set in your ways. I won’t be changing my palate. I’m quite happy with the rut we’ve found ourselves in.
The jury of Guardian readers
Is Alice right to try to spice up their food?
At 87, Lyndon can be excused for being a bit set in his ways. Alice is obviously more adventurous. However, I think, from bitter experience, that it’s not a case of him disliking spicy food; it’s that he just can’t eat it. I’m going to have to side with the defence.
Martin, 70
Lyndon is guilty just for saying “meat and two veg is more interesting”. More interesting than what, exactly – watching paint dry? He is lucky enough to have had Alice cook for him for 63 years, so if her cooking is not up to scratch, maybe it’s time he took a turn in the kitchen.
Asiya, 28
The “rut” to which Lyndon refers is one in which both parties are confined. Alice treats him as a recalcitrant child, and Lyndon hasn’t joined the 21st century in terms of believing in “a woman’s place”! A wake-up call is needed for both – age refusing to bestow wisdom.
Jane, 77
Lyndon is guilty. After 63 years, Alice should be allowed to cook what she likes, and the fact that she’s been dosing his food with spices undetected is a sure sign that he’s just being unnecessarily cranky. He’s pretty lucky she hasn’t dosed him with something else.
Shubhangi, 35
I can see both sides. However, making a scene in a restaurant for the food not being to your taste, and his comment about her cooking not always being up to scratch, tell me a lot. Lyndon is guilty and should learn how to cook.
Tracy, 54
You be the judge
So now you can be the judge, click on the poll below and tell us: should Lyndon start trying new cuisines?
We’ll share the results on next week’s You be the judge.
The poll will close on 31 March at 9AM BST
Last week’s result
We asked if Jerome should start cleaning his cat’s litter tray and not always leave it for his partner, Erica.
73% of you said no – Jerome is innocent
27% of you said yes – Jerome is guilty
