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Keith Hackett's verdict
1) An excellent question. It counts as a miss. In open play a ball rebounding off you into the net would be a goal, as you're considered part of the field of play. However, while the laws on penalties make clear that a goal is awarded if the shot touches the keeper before going in, they also say that "the referee decides when a penalty kick has been completed". In these circumstances, it's right to consider the kick completed once the keeper runs out and boots the slowly trickling ball. So the fact that it then hit you and went in is irrelevant.
Nick Roberts wins the shirt.
2) First, stopping play was correct: the laws say that if an infringement warrants an expulsion, you must stop play and send off the player immediately unless there is subsequent opportunity to score. But you cannot now rewind and award a penalty just because the team-mate has messed about and fluffed the chance. So, make sure the fouled striker receives medical help, send the keeper off for serious foul play, and award a goal-kick. The game can resume once a replacement keeper is in position. Thanks to Jane McClair.
• This answer was revised on 16 September 2015.
3) If it's a competitive game, you have to abandon it. It might seem sensible to allow a team-mate to steady the ball, but the laws prevent team-mates being inside the area when a penalty is taken. There's also no provision in the laws for the taker improvising a way to stick the ball to the spot (with sand, for instance). It's a tough position to be in, but you have to call it off. Thanks to Jack Walker.
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