It’s a lovely day, so let’s check in on how the seminarians at Denver’s St. John Vianney Theological Seminary are doing. These are godly folks, so I’m sure they’re carrying out acts of charity, studying the good book, or helping out their congregation! *Opens the door and looks inside* Aghhh! *Slams it shut* ….what the in the name of holy heck is going on in there?!
In a story that sounds too bizarre to be true, the seminary is currently tangled in a bizarre “yeti blood oath” drama that’s rocking the foundations of Colorado catholicism.
As reported by The Pillar, this bonkers tale began in Jan. 2024 when a group of seminarians were fast asleep after a long day of godly activities. Then vice-rector Fr. John Nepil sneaked into their room and woke them up, ushering the disorientated seminarians to a waiting room.
From there, each one was taken alone to a trailer on the house’s grounds. Inside, the terrified men would find a man wearing a nightmarish full-body yeti outfit. The yeti would then make them sit at a table in front of a dollar bill, a bloody piece of paper, and a dagger.
Standing above them was the senior seminarian, who said: “You’re about to enter into a sacred tradition. Are you ready for it? … The way it works, the only way you can enter into this family, is you got to make a blood oath”. They’re then told they hope you will “have the balls” to succeed and that “If you enter into this family, there’s no going back. “Now it’s not pretty, as you can see, but if there is enough courage in there, we can get through it.”
The seminarian was threatened with the dagger and told that the only way the ritual can be completed is with “bear blood”. From then they’re ordered to make “the most guttural scream you can possibly make” and their hand bound, apparently marking the completion of the blood oath.
“Spiritually troubling”
In something of an understatement, many Denver Catholics consider these events “spiritually troubling,” and a major drama is brewing. Fr. Nepil is on the defensive, saying:
“I deeply regret my role in what took place, and I can assure you I will never participate in anything like this again. It is important to emphasize that the archdiocese completed a detailed investigation and confirmed that there were no oaths taken and no one suffered any physical harm.”
I mean, it really sounds like there was an oath taken – possibly to a yeti. Anyway, the police were briefly involved and investigated the ritual but decided not to press charges. As for Nepil? The Archdiocese of Denver has put out a statement saying, “The individual responsible has since been removed from his seminary leadership role and has recommitted to his ongoing personal and spiritual formation.”
Cards on the table here, aside from the yeti costume, it’s a bit rich for Catholics to start complaining about their members participating in blood rituals when they’ve got the whole transubstantiation thing going on in church. But, whatever the truth of what was actually going on behind closed doors in this seminary, it seems the yeti has been sent packing, presumably back to the Himalayas.
