Mike Hosking did, didn’t, does, doesn’t, will and won’t want to have the PM on his radio show, while simultaneously accusing the New Zealand media of being asleep at the wheel, writes James Elliott
It was reported in the news this week that the concentration of carbon dioxide in the earth’s atmosphere has just hit a record high of 417.14 ppm (parts per million). Global emissions of CO2 had been dropping due to the economic downturn caused by the Covid-19 pandemic but started climbing again last month when Mike Hosking started venting about PM Jacinda Ardern. This week Mike’s personal emission of ppm (potshots at the PM) spiked again causing atmospheric CO2 to each new record levels.
Last month the PM cancelled her regular weekly slot on Mike’s breakfast radio show causing an immediate and concerning elevation in Mike’s levels of emotive dissonance. He was simultaneously both pleased and displeased at the PM’s cancellation – pleased because she spent too much time waffling, stalling and filling in response to his self-described tough questioning, but displeased because as PM she should have been up for his self-described tough questioning.
The elevation in Mike’s emotive dissonance in turn prompted a spike in his mmm (Mike’s mixed metaphors), accusing the PM of both lacking backbone and running for the hills without noting that it’s impossible to run for the latter while lacking the former.
Barry summarised that Mike’s comments about the media handling of the MIQ issue were “a bit rich”, an admonition that no doubt would have infuriated Mike, who has a well-known aversion to things that are only “a bit rich” and would have preferred that Barry thought of his comments as being very rich indeed.
This week the PM was back on Mike’s show answering his self-described tough questions on the just-announced trans-Tasman travel bubble and prompting an elevation in Mike’s rpm (rants per minute) to the level of a full-blown existential crisis.
No sooner had he interviewed the PM on his show, Mike declared that he didn’t want her back on his show thereby creating the first Schrodinger’s radio interviewee who is both present and not present while simultaneously bailing, running and waffling. To summarise, Mike did, didn’t, does, doesn’t, will and won’t want to have the PM on his radio show. He also accused the New Zealand media of being asleep at the wheel in failing to tackle the PM over the handling of MIQ facilities. This accusation triggered a unique media atmospheric event known as a brm (Barry reproaches Mike).
In this case the Barry is Barry Soper, the doyen of New Zealand political punditry. Barry emitted his own bmm (Barry’s mixed metaphor) saying that Mike “accusing the media of being asleep at the wheel and then refusing to take the wheel himself is cutting your nose off to spite your face”.
Barry summarised that Mike’s comments about the media handling of the MIQ issue were “a bit rich”, an admonition that no doubt would have infuriated Mike, who has a well-known aversion to things that are only “a bit rich” and would have preferred that Barry thought of his comments as being very rich indeed.
Barry emitted his own bmm (Barry’s mixed metaphor) saying that Mike “accusing the media of being asleep at the wheel and then refusing to take the wheel himself is cutting your nose off to spite your face”.
In any event, Mike apologised to Barry. Just. He did indeed say sorry but tagged the apology with the comment that Barry’s criticism had ruined his day just as he was about to tuck into his favourite artichoke dip, a French stick and an espresso. Mike also noted that "Ironically, what he [Barry] was doing in calling me out, of course, was exactly what I was doing to others” and signed off with an mim (Mike’s incomplete metaphor) “So what is good for the goose, as they say." Indeed. And as we all know, what is good for the goose is that it not be force-fed three times a day for 17 days so that its fatty liver can be enjoyed as foie gras together with a French stick and an espresso.
There were other interesting political manoeuvrings and musings during the week but I’m unable to report on them in detail. Richard Prebble penned a column for the NZ Herald opining that Judith Collins is politically a dead leader walking. I don’t know why Richard Prebble thinks that, because his column is behind the NZ Herald paywall and I’m not. It’s an intriguing piece though and might well be linked with Claire Trevett’s opinion piece for the NZ Herald that asked whether a Simon Bridges and Christopher Luxon leadership ticket might be on the cards for National. I don’t know why Claire Trevett poses this question because her column is behind the NZ Herald paywall and I’m not.
At least I know that Claire’s question isn’t linked to the question as to why NZ Bachelor winner Annie Theis isn’t pursuing a romance with Moses Mackay. That wasn’t behind the NZ Herald paywall. I wish it had been.
Have a peaceful weekend.
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