Xavi

'And at the end of that round, you've scored no points and 63 passes,' titters Tom Nycz-Losi ...
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... who's clearly been swapping notes with Rosman Grint Photograph: Photomontage

'Xavi eyes up his next excuse for tripping over thin air,' chuckles Joby Spragg Photograph: Photomontage

Is Xavi the love child of Robert Downey Jr and Paul Scholes? Tom Freer has christened him Xavi HerScholez Jr Photograph: Photomontage

Jason Froggett has also noticed a similarity between Xavi and a certain eccentric Hollywood star: 'Xavi Downeys the Gunners' Photograph: Photomontage

'Pe(r)p(etual) wondered whether he had found the perfect midfield,' click-clacks Alyn Delve
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'Xavi regretted taking Figo's advice on how to avoid being pestered by Barcelona fans on his day off,' guffaws Jamie Read Photograph: Photomontage

The monikered Nidhi only provides one name with this entry, but at least Xavi makes up for it with four arms : 'Xavi plays Shiva the Destroyer to Madrid's title hopes'
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Cesar Souto also reckons our hero is something of a lucky charm
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Caroline and Christopher Huff appear to be suggesting Xavi is a midfield gnome. Beyond that we really don't have a clue
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Louis Heasman's entry is more to the point: 'He's the original X-Man'
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Andrew Williams finds Pep giving a few maths lessons at La Masia
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'"I knew it," laughed Xavi, "he does have Barça DNA!"' This courtesy of Matthew Squires
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'Xavi's obsession with Cesc has gone too far,' declares Koichiro Yamamura
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Douglas Fenech presents Xavi the conductor and his famous orchestra. Doesn't Leo look happy on the sax?
Photograph: Photomontage