MÉS QUE UN MESS
Most football club chairmen would sell their own mothers up the river to endure the kind of torment currently being passed off as a crisis for Barcelona. One of the world’s richest, best known and well-supported sporting outfits, they have Leo Messi in their team of instantly recognisable superstars and £198m of Neymar money burning a hole in the club coffers. But because they just got thumped by Real Madrid across two legs of the Spanish Super Cup, the talk in and around the Camp Nou camp is of a club in crisis.
While the plight of clubs like Charlton Athletic and Leyton Orient helps put such hyperbole in perspective, these things are all relative and besides, Barcelona are famously “més que un club”, at least until some sheikhs pitch up with £170m to use your players as scampering billboards for their local airline. As if getting their pants pulled down and their botties spanked by their old foe last night wasn’t humiliating enough, Barcelona suffered the added indignities of seeing Messi wound up to the point he felt compelled to shout about Sergio Ramos’s mum (well, a certain part of Sergio Ramos’s mum’s anatomy), while Gerard Piqué publicly admitted that for the first time since joining Barcelona he feels the club is “inferior” to Real.
“This a long process and there is room for improvement, but in the nine years that I have been here, it is the first time that I feel inferior to Madrid,” he said. “We are not in the best moment, either as a team or as a club. We must stay as close as possible and keep moving forwards.” While there are no shortage of big-name star players among the Barcelona ranks, the concern is that many like Messi, Luis Suárez – who is now out for four to five weeks with a knee injury – and Andrés Iniesta are not getting any younger, past their best and may well be approaching their sell-by date. Following last night’s defeat, Barcelona’s general manager, Pep Segura, suggested Barça targets Philippe Coutinho and Ousmane Dembélé could be close to their sell-by dates, stating that Barcelona were “close” to signing the Liverpool and Borussia Dortmund attacking midfielders. “Until deals are closed I can’t say anything,” said this soul of discretion, before saying even more things to needlessly ratchet up the pressure on his club to get their men, albeit at even greater expense.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“As soon as I heard of Common Goal I knew this was a chance for football to improve our world, and I wanted to be part of it. I feel we could be doing more to connect the increasing revenues in football to some kind of deeper purpose. Through the 1% pledge, we’re building a bridge between football and its social impact around the world” – Mats Hummels shows not all footballers are greedy, self-interested prima donnas by rising to Juan Mata’s call to help disadvantaged children.
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FIVER LETTERS
“In response to Rob Smyth’s difficulties with Renegade’s Lv5 boss (yesterday’s Fiver) the key is to take out his cronies before going 1-2-1 with the crime lord himself. He can only hurt you by shooting left/right so moving out of his range (up/down) will enable you to whup him and save the girl. Er, or so I recall from when I was seven” – Alex Spratt
“If, after already spending over £192m on their defence, Manchester City then spending another £18m on Jonny Evans is the answer, what on earth is the question?” – Noble Francis
“May I be the first of 1,057 creative headline punners to improve on Bill Fleming’s effort in yesterday’s Fiver Letters to offer ‘Kyle Walker-Peters In As Memories of Kyle Walker Peter Out’” – Michael Hitchen
“Bravo, Fiver, Bravo! Your comment about English Big Cup representation in the ’70s and ’80s is so multi-layered as to make your head spin. This hopefully marks a departure from the all too common, ill-researched, 1,057-baiting … oh, wait, it’s happened again” – Finn Jorgensen
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Noble Francis.
BITS AND BOBS
Diego Costa really has made his mind up. “My destination is already set,” he roared. “I must return to Atlético Madrid next season. It turns out that there is the impasse that Chelsea does not want to release me. But I believe that this situation will be resolved now on my return to Spain.”
The FA are under pressure to explain an £80,000 payment to Eni Aluko after a bullying complaint, and calls for greater transparency.
Manchester City have had a paltry £18m bid for West Brom defender Jonny Evans knocked back.
Everton may have splurged £45m on Gylfi Sigurdsson but Ronald Koeman wants more. “We still need to sign a striker,” the Everton manager boomed. “Maybe they can share the goals around more than happened last season, but we still need another one to play the No9.”
The only way is up for Liverpool, so-says Simon Mignolet. “We can only play one way and that is forward,” he parped. “We know that we can always score. We have so much style up front.”
Brighton duo Lewis Dunk and Anthony Knockaert have signed fresh five-year contracts, while Shane Duffy has scribbled down a new four-year deal.
Rhyl FC’s Carl Lamb has been banned from all sport until December 2018 after failing a drugs test. UK Anti-Doping said Lamb was found to have benzoylecgonine (a metabolite of cocaine) in his system.
And just 12 days into the new season, Torquay United have sacked player-manager Kevin Nicholson.
THE RECAP
Sign up and receive the best of Big Website’s coverage, every Friday, it says here. Seems to be a curious lack of mentions for The Fiver …
STILL WANT MORE?
Why are Premier League teams so bad in defence? Resident Guardian superbrain Jonathan Wilson answers The Question.
Another European adventure would be dandy for Celtic – but not Scottish football, argues Ewan Murray.
RB Leipzig are going to get up in Bayern Munich’s grill, reckons Andy Brassell in this Bundesliga preview.
Fancy a ref’s-eye of Real Madrid? Here’s this week’s Classic YouTube.
Is Phillipe Coutinho on the verge of joining Barcelona? That and more in today’s Rumour Mill.
Barney Ronay has the lowdown on the Battle of the Den.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
