A woman is asking viewers whether she’s “delulu” after her meetup with a potential date didn’t go according to plan. Her story sparked a debate about the expectations that come with the “talking” phase in dating, but was she right in feeling slighted, or was she overreacting? According to viewers–especially the male ones–she wasn’t.
In a viral TikTok, Taiylor (@taiylornottaylor) shares how she had plans for a date with a man who lives out of state. According to the TikToker, they had planned the lunch date about a week and a half in advance since the guy would be in town for the weekend. The guy purportedly told Taiylor to pick the place, as he wasn’t familiar with her town.
Taiylor says they didn’t speak for just a day or two, but since the date was already set, she assumed they were still good to go. When she texted him the morning of the date, however, Taiylor says the guy allegedly said that it was for tomorrow.
“I was like, ‘No, today. We both agreed on today at this time,’” Taiylor says. “He says, ‘Oh no, I’m not gonna be there until tonight.’”
Taiylor, visibly in disbelief, says she had a gripe with the fact that he didn’t message or call her to tell her the date had changed.
“Did you think it wasn’t happening because we didn’t talk for 24 hours?” Taiylor asks.
She then asks her viewers whether they would be upset, adding that she doesn’t feel like going on the date at all anymore.
“Am I the delulu one here?” Taiylor asks, “Or maybe he’s just not that interested.
Was it disinterest or genuine forgetfulness?
Taiylor’s video received 78,000 views, with many viewers coming to a consensus that she was, in fact, not delulu (unfortunately.)
Surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly), many men hopped into the comments section to share dating insights from their perspective.
“As a guy, if we are really interested in a girl, we are not going to forget the day or time a date is on,” one top comment read. “He’s already not respecting you, so you should move on and find someone better.”
“As a man, he fumbled and didn’t communicate,” another advised. “Not worth your time.”
One user painted the expected scenario that should’ve gone down: “If I’m talking to a girl & planning a date, I’m texting her the morning of the day we’re going out so she isn’t second guessing if we’re still going or if I’m excited to see her. It’s common courtesy to take the lead.”
Dating: Are last-minute changes a red flag?
According to relationship experts, it could be. One HBT Insider article shared that canceling or postponing plans could be a red flag in the talking stage of a relationship. However, it does state this is if the person is consistently flaking or changing plans.
Other experts, like in this article by LoveLingoLab, state that the person making vague plans or avoiding specifics of said date is a red flag. However, as Taiylor mentioned, none of those things sprang up prior to the scheduled lunch date–which is probably why the sudden change caught her off guard.
@taiylornottaylor Would this bother anyone else?
♬ original sound – Taiylor Rose?
What are other signs he’s ‘just not that into you?’
The LoveLingoLab article lists out 10 signs that someone will cancel a date, which is valuable information in today’s dating climate, where casual hookups and dating apps are all the rage. Some of the most common ones are:
- Vague about date details
- Common scheduling conflicts
- A change in the way they communicate
- Last-minute cancellations
- Avoiding future plans
While Taiylor’s relationship with the guy didn’t get that far, it seems his behavior was enough of a red flag for her. She posted a follow-up video stating she would not give him a second chance.
“Either go through with our plans or not, and if you don’t, you’re not exactly worth my time,” Taiylor says.
The Mary Sue reached out to the TikToker via TikTok direct message.
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