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The Guardian - UK

Rachel Holmes

Worst Christmas gift ideas - in pictures

Worst xmas gifts: Bacon wallet — 'Sleek, yet meaty.' The bacon wallet will delight Lady Gaga fans and meat-lovers alike.

Bacon wallet, £8.99
Buy online at lazyboneuk.com Photograph: Public Domain

Worst xmas gifts: Tree face — Making a mockery of Ents, Green Men and Dryads everywhere, this Tree Face is for people who thinks it's necessary to 'add character' to inanimate objects.

Tree face, £19.99
Buy online at presentsformen.co.uk Photograph: Public domain

worst xmas gifts: Dog hair mug — Oh ha ha ha ha! How witty. A mug for dog owners who won't take the hint.

'Everything tastes better with dog hair in it' mug, £8.95
Buy online at houseofbath.co.uk Photograph: PR

worst xmas gifts: Jeremy Kyle T-shirt — Gift-buying for a 'benefit cheat' or 'absent father'? Sorted.

Jeremy Kyle T-shirt, £16.95
Buy online at chargrilled.co.uk Photograph: PR

worst xmas gifts: Portable body scales — Perfect for those people whose dinner table conversation revolves around the latest fad dieting regime they’re trying out. Now they can weigh themselves on the move.

Portable body scales, £24.99
Buy online at firebox.com Photograph: PR

worst xmas gifts: The Neckline Trainer — Available at all good pseudo-scientific retailers, the Neckline Trainer is a great gift for people who believe that two minutes a day nodding on springs will 'dramatically reduce the appearance of a double chin'.

Neckline Trainer, £29.99
Buy online at buynecklinetrainer.co.uk Photograph: PR

worst xmas decs: Giant microbes — One for the massive hypochondriac in your life, a selection of giant microbes. Choose from MRSA, E.Coli, Streptococcus and more.

Giant microbes, £7.99 each
Buy online at firebox.com Photograph: Public Domain

worst xmas gifts: Toilet roll puzzle — A gift for someone you hate. Watch the fun, games and wee stains multiply as people try to work out how to wipe their bottom. Make sure you read the puzzle instructions before you hand the gift over …

Toilet roll puzzle, £9.99
Buy online at lazybone.co.uk Photograph: PR

worst xmas gifts: Jeremy Clarkson — For a mate who's not watched the news in the last week.

Books by Jeremy Clarkson, from £5
Buy online at amazon.co.uk Photograph: Getty Images

worst xmas gifts: Toilet teapot — Because you can imagine the look on their faces when THIS gets unwrapped, right?

At your convenience collectible toilet teapot, £69.99
Buy online at a-choice-of-gifts.co.uk Photograph: Public Domain

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