2. Irritating sanctimoniousness award: Kevin Costner's directorial debut Dances with Wolves won seven Oscars in 1991. Costner gave what may well be the most annoyingly modest speech in which he thanked everyone except the wolves.
3. The award for the most inappropriate stand-in at an award ceremony goes to Marlon Brando , who in 1973 famously sent a woman identifying herself as Sacheen Littlefeather (actually the actress Maria Cruz, a Native American) to collect his best actor Oscar for The Godfather. Brando's stunt is said to have been a protest against the US film industry's portrayal of native Americans.
4. Longest thank you note: this coveted gong goes to Titanic producer John Landau, who thanked at least 45 people after winning the best picture prize in 1998. He started by "thanking all the nominees this evening and all the people again, that they've already thanked". No wonder that in 2001 the Academy offered a free television for the shortest speech.
5. Shortest speech: Joe Pesci delivered what must be the shortest speech in award ceremony history when he said "This is an honour and a privilege. Thank you" after winning an Academy award for his role in Goodfellas in 1990. Later when asked the reason for his brief speech he said, "I really didn't think I was going to win."
6. The award for the most embarrassing silence goes to the audience present when Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine won the best documentary Oscar. As he berated President Bush most of the assembled glitterati sat in stony neutrality for fear of expressing the merest hint of any political allegiance.
7. The award for the most emotional speech goes to Catherine Zeta-Jones, who declared: "My hormones are just too way out of control to be dealing with this."
8. The Liz Hurley award for worst fashion sense goes to Gwyneth Paltrow for a rather ill-chosen frock at the 2003 Oscars.
9. Worst presenters: Until the late 1980s the Brit awards were broadcast live. All that ended after the disastrous show hosted by Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood in which everything that could go wrong did. They both missed their lines, the bands were miscued and there were extended silences. Since then the award ceremony has been recorded and broadcast the following night.
10. Biggest ego award: Titanic director James Cameron won hands down after declaring: "I'm king of the world" whilst accepting one of the film's 11 Oscars.
