World Cup 2018: the bids come in

England's bid book - actually three books entitled 'England's bid', 'Cities and stadiums' and 'Guarantees and support' - complete with face-painted young scamp
Photograph: Arnd Wiegmann/Reuters

David Beckham hands England's tome to the Fifa president, Sepp Blatter, who grits his teeth in grim determination to hold onto the thing while the photos are taken
Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images

England may need to up their act, though, to get one over on the Holland/Belgium bid. Not only do they have Ruud Gullit looking like he's just won first prize in a school science contest, and the scruffy, sartorially uncoordinated Johan Cruyff, but they've also got an official handbag.
Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images

And if you need any more proof of how serious they are just look at how they turned up. Environmentally-conscious and not at all concerned with image
Photograph: Arnd Wiegmann/Reuters

The rest of the Dutch/Belgian bid-team trail in behind Gullit, including the legendary Holland captain and manager, Cruyff (second right), who struggles manfully to balance his handbag on his handlebars
Photograph: Arnd Wiegmann/Reuters

An audacious move by the Japanese team: a pop-up bid book. Sepp looks suitably impressed, even though it takes five men to operate the thing ...
Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images

... but not so much by the electronic device showing some random girls smiling. Could have blown it with that one. Too wacky? Too clever?
Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images

Now be fair, if someone were to ask you to come up with an image for the Australian bid team, you'd have probably gone for a kangaroo kicking a football too
Photograph: Arnd Wiegmann/Reuters

Job done, Beckham makes his exit amid a scrum of reporters
Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images