Enjoy! Ta-ra!
And:
So, repair immediately to:
And with that, we are duhn.
“If you are still looking for dreadful (but in their own way brilliant) hat-tricks, then Lineker’s for Barcelona against Real Madrid in 1987 is the Daddy,” emails Mark Meadowcroft. “One from a throw in, one from a rebound, the third an assist from the goalkeeper. All three finished with him on his backside. What a stunningly good striker he was. No luck in any of them. A world class player in his time and this is his legacy at Barca.”
Some of the best goals he ever scored, those.
News: it appears that ITV have been punished for their totally irrational lack of faith in the national team:
More than 14m people watched England’s World Cup victory over Panama on Sunday afternoon, one of the biggest TV audiences of the year.
The audience for the side’s comprehensive 6-1 victory over Panama peaked at 14.1m on BBC One, equivalent to 83% of the total television audience.
There were a further 2.8m requests for live streams of the match across the BBC’s website and 250,000 people watched it after the match on on-demand.
The audience for the Panama match was down on the peak audience of 18.3m who watched the side’s opening win against Tunisia, which was broadcast on a Monday night. However, both matches were easily among the biggest TV audiences of the year.
Television audiences have been in steady decline for many years but the World Cup, along with the royal wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, has shown large numbers of Britons are still willing to tune in for big live events.
England’s final group match against Belgium will be shown live on ITV on Thursday night. The commercial broadcaster also has first choice on which games to show in the round of 16, meaning it is highly likely they will also show England’s first match in the knockout round.
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Not at the World Cup news: reports in Italy suggest that Radja Nainggolan has completed his medical and will soon move from Roma to Inter.
Did I say Vibes? I believe I did, and from there we have but one one possible segue.
Mexico beating Germany vibes.
“Is it just me, or are people getting a bit too excited about England’s win over Panama?” emails Bryan Tissinger. “First, Panama is one of the worst, if not THE worst team in the tournament. Second, England scored one legitimate goal from open play against Panama – the others were two penalties, two set-pieces, and a fluke goal. I saw a stat that Kane received only 12 passes all match. That is not a recipe for success against any decent team.”
Most people I know are quite sensible about it. I think the first 30 minutes against Tunisia tells you more about England, and no team will fancy facing their attackers, nor doing the running you’ll need to do against them. And goals from set-pieces are as legit as any other goals - again, teams will be trepidatious whenever England get a corner against them because they know they’ll be looking to score. In short, England probably won’t win the World Cup and might well lose to the first decent side they play, but have the firepower to sort anyone.
Football is brilliant.
I’ve got football withdrawal symptoms. 86 minutes and 24 seconds to go.
Four years ago today. One of the greatest moments in World Cup history!pic.twitter.com/PObBatQL5N
— Joseph Sexton (@josephsbcn) June 25, 2018
2 years on... have a good trip lads 🏴🦁🦁🦁 pic.twitter.com/b0PzlsXiJY
— Harry Maguire (@HarryMaguire93) June 24, 2018
Yellow ticker: Mohamed Salah will not start for Egypt today but goalkeeper Essam El-Hadary will, thus becoming the World Cup’s oldest-ever player, aged 45.
“It’s a fair point in general,” emails Benedict Dries-Jenkins with regard to earlier Madrid discussion, “though I do think that, as understandable as it may be, Kroos’ wondergoal has glossed over the fact that his general performances in the first two games have been quite poor. Marcelo was also all over the place against Switzerland, and not in a good way...”
That’s kind of the point, though. Madrid aren’t the most cohesive team ever, but they have the individual brilliance to do the necessary at the crucial moment, just as Kroos did.
Bad news: Jefferson Farfan will miss Peru’s game against Australia after sustaining what his manager called a “traumatic brain injury” in training.
“Farfan collided with a team-mate during a training session and we were very concerned,” Gareca said in his pre-match press conference. “He was unconscious for a couple of minutes. The player received all the medical assistance required.
“He is OK but it was a scare. He is doing well. Unfortunately he cannot play tomorrow but the most important thing is he is recovering and will get well. There are some protocols in terms of recovery of a player so that means it is mandatory for a player to remain in hospital for 72 hours until he is stabilised. He could be released from hospital but we understand the healthcare of the the players is priority. We have to be very grateful for the immediate attention of the medical team and extremely grateful for Russia for being so well prepared for this kind of event.”
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“I guess “Vermaelen v Welbeck, lip smacking!” is a reference to this?” emails James Errington.
Yes, I know you’re vexed about the football that isn’t on your screen, but we’re about ready to start contemplating this afternoon’s entertainment. My guess is that we’ll see few goals: Russia need a rest after their lungbusting efforts while Uruguay will uruguay for they are Urguay. Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia and Egypt just aren’t good enough to score any goals.
Oooh yeah. Here’s Jacob Steinberg’s World Cup Fiver. Try not to get too excited.
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“Vermaelen v Welbeck, lip smacking!” enthuses Dan Friedman; aren’t we all, with this weather we’re having. “Just like the battle of the Arsenal keepers yesterday which current reserve keeper Ospina won easily despite FA Cup Szczesny not making any obvious Caballeros.”
It looked a lot like he was keen to though, and it’s the thought that counts. And as it goes, I thought Khadim N’Diaye’s effort from yesterday was almost as good – I was extremely taken with how he fruitlessly flew back following the initial error. I was less taken with what this meant for my betting slip.
I wonder what will happen to Lingard next season, though. If Mourinho is desperate to include Matic every game, with Fred and Pogba also around, there’s no midfield space, so he might need to play from the right. He’s capable of it, but a decent right-back would make it much easier.
Jesseh Lingard, then. There’s still plenty of work to do - he has a tendency to disappear from games, and needs more consistency in his finishing of easy chances. But he makes the players around him play better, has excellent pace and movement, can do special things, and isn’t scared. Alex Ferguson, Louis van Gaal, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes, Jose Mourhino and Gareth Southgate all rate him - it might not matter so much that your da/boyfriend/you don’t.
Can’t believe how much of an improvement this England team is. A far cry from the days of the ‘Golden Generation’ when we were regularly getting knocked out of major tournaments by the likes of Tunisia and Panama.
— Calvin Betton (@Calvbetton) June 25, 2018
“Re your last post about Madrid players performing well, tweets Mike Emery. “The Man Utd players are also doing surprisingly well. Lukaku, Lingard, Young, Pogba. All except De Gea, oddly.”
Yes, that’s true. Lukaku is benefitting from proper service, while Lingard has been helped by playing in his position against miserable opposition. All of that lot have plenty to prove when things get real next week.
An interesting element of this World Cup is how well the Real Madrid players are playing, because Madrid are great on the basis of great players rather than any great team cohesion. This does not make them less great, it simply makes them different, and the interventions of Kroos, Modric and Ronaldo have amplified that.
I enjoyed this.
A bit here on Germany, Kroos and that free-kick. https://t.co/I2fqjwl70U
— Michael Gibbons (@mikewgibbons) June 25, 2018
“Can’t wait for Phil Jones vs Michi Batshuayi when Europe’s heavyweights battle it out later this week,” tweets Dan Friedman.
I’m more into Thomas Vermaelen v Daniel Welbeck, which will take us right back to good old 2011.
I’d love to see full-strength England v full-strength Belgium. I’m not certain England could get close to De Bruyne in midfield, and I also fancy Lukaku wouldn’t mind facing England’s back-three. But I don’t think any team will relish facing England’s attackers, nor the running they’d be forced to do.
Roselaar has tweeted to let us know that: “Belgian press reporting Belgium will field ‘B team’ against England: replacements for Vertongen (yellow card), Meunier (yellow card), De Bruyne (yellow card), Lukaku, Hazard and Mertens.
Fair enough. Annoying, but fair enough.
“Hi Daniel,” begins Antonio Andre. “Spain and Morocco actually share more than the Melilla land border. “The City of Ceuta is also a Spanish enclave surrounded by Moroccan territory.”
Ah. I appear to know more about penny sweets sold in the newsagents of north west London than I do about important geographical facts.
When was the last time the World Cup was won by the country which looked the best in the group stages? 1990 perhaps, when Germany started by handing Yugoslavia one of the great trouncings.
I asked Mile Jedinak if he was aware of Kasper Schmeichel trying psych him out and if it had bothered him. He said "Did it look like it bothered me?" #WorldCup #GoSocceroos #AUSPER #aus
— Ned Hall (@NedGrandstand) June 24, 2018
If Game of Thrones vibe is your thing.
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS COUNTRY AND THEIR FANS?
— Soham 🏴 (@BTecSoham) June 24, 2018
(@HQSportsBar1) #WorldCup
pic.twitter.com/cMYqmBaWOh
I asked Mile Jedinak if he was aware of Kasper Schmeichel trying psych him out and if it had bothered him. He said "Did it look like it bothered me?" #WorldCup #GoSocceroos #AUSPER #aus
— Ned Hall (@NedGrandstand) June 24, 2018
Apparently Sergio Aguero, Argentina’s only goalscorer so far, will be dropped for the crucial game against Nigeria. this punishment for trying to get the manager sacked. Yeah, who are players to have an opinion on who (mis)manages them? Apparently, Angel di Maria and Ever Banega will also play instead of Marcos Acuna and Enzo Perez, while Willy Caballero has also been dropped in case he tries a dink pass that costs a goal again.
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“Why didn’t Kyle Walker get himself booked yesterday?” asks Richard Powell. “Can already see Phil Jones’s gurning face as he brings down Coutinho/Neymar/Özil/Reus in the box in last minute of the quarter final.”
Yeah, but England will be 1966-0 up by then, so not to worry.
Wow. Panama commentators reaction off air while they listen for the first time the Panama anthem at the World Cup.
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) June 24, 2018
I totally, totally understand them pic.twitter.com/dusriPyXkB
“Here in Norway NRK have women as their summariser,” emails Bob O’Hara, “and it doesn’t seem at all odd. Now Jan Mølby summarising in Danish still with his Scouse accent; that sounds strange.”
On which point, enjoy this on his lost and found goal against Manchester United by Gregg Bakowski.
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Lessons for ignoramii: “Spain and Morocco share a land border,” tweets @nikiforenko666, and indeed they do. I am now cognisant of the Melilla fence.
How should England go about the Belgium game? My guess is they’ll leave out anyone carrying a knock or on a yellow card, but otherwise will set about it. Here’s Stuart James on Belgium’s weakness out wide.
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Who needs what? Find aht ere.
YELLOW TICKER: Sky are now interviewing a child with a John Stones mask on, pretending to be John Stones.
For those less well-versed in Portuguese than me, this is Ronaldo asking Iran fans to keep it down, as he’s trying to sleep. Yeah, that’ll work.
Ronaldo foi à janela pedir aos iranianos para o deixarem dormir em paz 💤
— B24 🇵🇹 (@B24PT) June 24, 2018
🎥 @RTP1 pic.twitter.com/UtYxZBbJF3
Sky Sports News have just called Spain v Morocco a “local derby”. Which it almost is: the Straits of Gibraltar are 8.9 miles wide, so I think we’d have to shed the “local”, but otherwise the countries are far closer than, say, Watford and Luton of Fordshire derby fame.
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain.
Alternatively, I could do this, and so could you.
It is with great regret I inform you that it is no longer coming home. pic.twitter.com/aEdSi0bS8D
— Daniel Harris (@DanielHarris) June 25, 2018
“Re Talksport,” emails Christian Storm, “they should be reminded that John Motson literally squeaked his way through his last couple of years commentating and nobody batted an eyelid. Also, I’m very hungover at my desk and accidentally played this clip. Now everybody is looking.”
Nah, they were looking at you already and still are. They can taste the self-loathing.
“What I don’t get, is how or why some of the players seem to wear long sleeves or even an extra layer under their shirts,” emails Matt Salter.
“When I played in AJY U-12s for Barnet Shul, it didn’t matter if there was ice on the ground, our manager made us wear short sleeves with no vests and said that way we would run more to keep warm (he was a nice guy, really was). But these internationals are playing in 30 degrees heat and still some of them with long sleeves and other layers.
What’s that about?”
I too am an alumnus of the AJY league. I think it was there I developed my passion for beaten teams crying at full-time. As for your question, I wonder if part of it is nipple-protection, and I also think that some of the undergarments offer a circulatory benefit. As we know, marginal gains beat talent and doping every time.
So: was Harry Kane’s hat-trick the stuffiest ever scored? Others worthy of a shout:
I’m not going to glory such behaviours with a link, but a Talksport presenter with a big, deep, booming baritone has literally been allowed on breakfast telly to say that women’s voices are too high-pitched to commentate on football matches.
If ever you hear nonsense of this ilk, it is your duty to shut it down. Women have to fight harder for less, especially in football – consider some of the male types in our media, how unhard they appear to work and how good-1 they are at what they do – and remember that expertise is expertise. Celebrate that, finally, we’re correcting ourselves, know that football is for everyone in every aspect, and challenge spurious, specious and pernicious prejudice wherever you see it, all the more so if it is offered as legitimate argument.
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So today, we have for you:
3pm BST: Saudi Arabia v Egypt, Uruguay v Russia
7pm BST: Spain v Morocco, Iran v Portugal
Or, in other words, a great day for those who deem goals to be overrated.
What, to you, most says: “1990s”?
Morning! Anyone here got any football? Luuuuuuvvvvvly ah ha ha ha ha.
Well, this is a nice read. Mikel John Obi chuckles along as he remembers the time that Lionel Messi pipped him to the Golden Ball at the 2005 World Youth Championship.
Before the game people said that I was going to win the Golden Ball for being the player of the tournament. But then Messi scored twice, both of them penalties, Argentina won 2-1 and I got the Silver Ball. Messi has kept on stealing awards from me!”
And with that, I’m going to hand over to Daniel Harris. He’ll keep you in fine company. Bye.
If you like maps as much as football then you’re probably a bit quirky, but we’re a broad church here at the Guardian and this will be right up your street. It’s glorious, in fact.
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A Sky reporter just suggested that it’s surprising to see some of the England players doing shuttle-runs at an open training session, as though Gareth Southgate should have them all in flotation tanks. They’re fringe players. And it’s called warming up.
It wouldn’t be a World Cup without a story about a dressing-room coup. This time around reports in Argentina – and let’s remember this is the country where this media abomination took place – suggest the players have wrestled control away from Jorge Sampaoli before the must-win game with Nigeria. But Javier Mascherano, who knows his way around a World Cup or two, has taken a jug of cold water and poured it all over those reports.
The relationship with the coach is totally normal. Obviously, when we feel some discomfort or we see something, we express it to him because otherwise, we would be hypocrites. If you are uncomfortable with something on the pitch and don’t express it to the coach, are you going to play an uncomfortable game? You would be harming the team. The best coaches in the world also ask the players for their opinion, because the player is the one who ends up making the decisions. The coach gives you the tools, but you decide which is the best option [on the pitch], and for that to occur, you have to be comfortable.
Here’s another – more important – story about Iran fans, only this one is about the ongoing battle facing the nation’s female supporters who want to do that simplest of things and attend football matches. Shaun Walker in Moscow has spoken to one of the founders of the Open Stadiums movement, which campaigns for women to be allowed in to watch games.
I didn’t really know how to cheer, because I’ve never been inside a stadium.”
It’s eye-opening and ridiculous. It’s 2018.
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Iran fans were giving it loads in Saransk in the early hours in an attempt to keep Portugal players up. It seems to have worked too. Cristiano Ronaldo, in the form of mime, came to the window and told them to keep a lid on it as he was trying to get some shut-eye. Do you remember the last time a group of supporters tried to keep Ronaldo awake? Ah yes, he dumped their team out of the Champions League the following evening.
Ronaldo foi à janela pedir aos iranianos para o deixarem dormir em paz 💤
— B24 🇵🇹 (@B24PT) June 24, 2018
🎥 @RTP1 pic.twitter.com/UtYxZBbJF3
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“Good morning Gregg!” chirps David Penney. “Regarding the piece yesterday on Barry Davies, I’d like to mention another criminally underused commentator of Football Italia fame, Peter Brackley. He was so permanently chipper, he made my Sunday afternoons. I’ve heard he’s not doing so well health-wise so all the best Peter, you were great. ‘Angelo Di Livio! The little soldier!’” Ah, Peter Brackley, also well remembered for “The saviour has saved Lazio!”
Here is the latest on the furore surrounding Mohamed Salah who, according to reports by the Associated Press, is absolutely fuming with Egypt and considering quitting after being used as a political symbol by Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov. The Egyptian FA claims he is a happy camper though:
How pleasing on the eye were Colombia yesterday? It did make me wonder what José Pekerman might have done with Argentina had he not left after the 2006 World Cup. His patient style of possession play and knowledge of so many of the Argentina players from his days coaching them at youth level would surely have helped them be a more even force over the years. He helped create one of my favourite-ever goals at a World Cup too, and for Pékerman, it was the realisation of years of work.
Thanks Richard. Off you go. Enjoy the rest of your day. So, how are we all? Great. What’s that you say? You want to digest some talking points from the second round of group matches? OK. Here you go then:
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That’s all from me, Richard Parkin, from the remote southern hemisphere desk. To take you ever closer to today’s four terrific fixtures I’ll leave you in the more than competent hands of Gregg Bakowski.
Some very strong later challengers, but I can confirm the chocolate frog is in the mail to Andrew Benton. And by frog, we mean “a grooved metal plate for guiding the wheels of a railroad vehicle at an intersection” (see earlier). May it bear you great weights of chocolate.
The Group B final matches become a little more intriguing though. Spain will be looking perhaps to make sure of top spot against Morocco, and will have the benefit of knowing who of Russia or Uruguay has emerged top from Group A.
More importantly than their round of 16 opponents however is ensuring which end of the draw they progress into, give the potential ‘stacking’ of the bottom half with the likes of Brazil, Germany, England, Colombia etc.
The Iran-Portugal fixture stands out as a cracker for mine, given the possibility of somebody other than Cristiano Ronaldo grabbing all the headlines: Carlos “I’m Portuguese and I used to coach Portugal but now I stand potentially as the man to knock Portugal out of the World Cup” Queiroz.
Granted, if that were to happen Ronaldo would just drop some “Neymar tears” on half-way to try and draw the attention of all the world’s cameras. But it would still be a remarkable subplot.
Do you reckon his whatsapp account has been buzzing this week? Friends and family sending him pictures of their nonna’s clutching a portuguese flag to remind him of his primary obligation?
Queiroz was after all born not in Portugal but Mozambique but does this fact strengthen or weaken his resolve to do over his own country?
Of course there is the remote possibility that if Morocco absolutely drubbed Spain AND Iran beat Portugal (but by a lesser margin) both the nation of his employers and the nation of his homeland might progress? Imagine that.
So let us now return to day 12’s fixtures.
We start with 3/4 “live” matches tonight; with the only dead rubber, Egypt v Saudi Arabia still a pretty fascinating intercontinental grudge match between the ‘Giants of Africa’ and the ‘Titans of West Asia’ who just happen to share a border.
Remarkably, it’s only the seventh time these two sides have met - with the last meeting over 11 years ago. So plenty there for pan-Arabic pride.
The pick of the Group A matches is however Uruguay v Russia, with top spot of the line and the chance to avoid either Spain, Portugal or Iran - results which won’t be known until later - in the knockouts.
It will also see the battle of the free-scoring host nation vs the free-from-the-bounds-of-convention Luis Suárez. In 2010 he rocked the World Cup with an outrageous deliberate handball against Ghana; in 2014 it was his infamous taste-test of Giorgio Chiellini that commanded headlines across the globe. He’s an absolute loose cannon AND utterly brilliant - what could he possibly come up with tonight?!
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Speaking of permutations, for fans of the US election wonks FiveThirtyEight, it seems Nate Silver & friends have branched out into football with their subtle blend of math (we’ll spare the plural given they’re American) and wizardry. And their current overall favourites might surprise you.
Forget all that gaff, is it coming home, you hear screamed from your lounge room? 8% chance at this stage, Dad.
For fans of AFC nations Japan is definitely in the box seat as the only nation ranked above an even chance of progressing. The odds for Iran are 15%, Australia 14% and South Korea a remarkable 1% chance.
Turns out that’s got even slimmer with news coming out of Korea that captain Ki Sung-yueng is reportedly scratched for their final group game against Germany.
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And before we turn our sights on the four Day 12 clashes, some final thoughts on that England performance last night, with two nice late night offerings you may have missed.
Here’s Barney Ronay on how the joyful, smiling Jesse Lingard is an exemplar for a generally more relaxed England:
And as we enter the final games of the group stages, Sachin Nakrani runs the rule over whether England should employ a ‘tactical’ result against Belgium:
Ach. And some sad news just across my desk for those of you following this blog from Australia - with the passing of the trailblazing football journalist, Andrew Dettre, a colossus of the fledgling sport for over half a century. Rest in peace, Andrew.
Throwback to an excellent piece on Australian football journalism giant Andrew Dettre, who sadly died this morning https://t.co/IZtc34JVu4
— Emma Kemp (@emmavkemp) June 25, 2018
Now one of the weirder stories from around the globe this week (and haven’t we had a few to choose from) was the news that China has officially cracked down on videos of people whispering, eating ice and brushing hair.
So if you’re one of those disgusting perverts who enjoy “autonomous sensory meridian response”, instead of just following the latest news here in written form, why not treat some of your other senses?
I can neither confirm nor deny that intermittently throughout the recording of this one Barry Glendenning makes surprise appearances crunching on some ice in the background and occasionally attempting to brush Max Rushden’s hair.
But like walking out of a cinema before the credits have finished, you don’t want to be left with a lingering feeling that you may have missed something spectacular if you don’t hear this one all the way through.
I think my favourite part of that report was this:
Egypt soccer federation spokesman Osama Ismail said that Salah has not complained to the federation. “Only what Salah writes on his Twitter account should be counted on.”
Is this a red rag to a bull, an invitation to Salah to set the record straight? Or have the federation hacked his account and are resting smug in the knowledge that Salah’s continued silence will be considered as happy compliance?
For the record, here’s Salah’s most recent tweet.. from four days ago:
الجميع في منتخب مصر متكاتف ولا يوجد أي خلاف على الإطلاق بيننا.. نحترم بعضنا البعض والعلاقة على أفضل وجه.
— Mohamed Salah (@MoSalah) June 20, 2018
Elucidating stuff.
The Egyptian FA has even gone further on the PR front foot now claiming that Salah is “happy in the camp”.
Presumably this means the footballing camp, and not some swiftly arranged re-educational facility.
But returning to actual football content, with the bombshell that Mohamed Salah might have played his last ever game for Egypt.
This from Associated Press:
Mohamed Salah told Egypt team officials and teammates that he is considering retiring from international play because he is angry about being used as a political symbol while the World Cup squad was based in Chechnya, two people close to the player told The Associated Press Sunday.
Salah the Muslim world’s most popular soccer player today said he was particularly annoyed with a team banquet hosted by Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov, who used the dinner to grant Salah “honorary citizenship,” according to the two people. Both spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the subject.
Egypt soccer federation spokesman Osama Ismail said that Salah has not complained to the federation. “Only what Salah writes on his Twitter account should be counted on.”
Chechnya, a predominantly Muslim region in southern Russia, was devastated by wars between separatists and Russian forces. Kadyrov, a former rebel who switched his loyalties to Moscow, faces accusations of gross human rights violations, including abductions and killings.
Salah, who also took part in a photo opportunity with Kadyrov, has been criticized by the British media for allowing the Chechen leader to use him to improve the government’s international image.
Salah had not responded publicly to the criticism while the team was based in Grozny, the Chechen capital. Salah’s meetings with Kadyrov carry the potential to hurt his popularity in Europe, where he has been something of an ambassador for moderate Islam.
News of Salah’s disapproval of Kadyrov’s actions leaked out just after the Egyptian squad left Grozny. The team is now in Volgograd for Monday’s game against Saudi Arabia which, like Egypt, has also been eliminated.
Phwaor. Huge, if true. And you thought the ‘will-he, won’t he’ speculation ahead of Egypt’s opening game was big; now to see if Africa’s reigning Footballer of the Year will play today.
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Now an idol of mine away from the hallowed turf of world football is definitely the eponymous hero of ‘Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace’ - who at one stage claims to be “one of the few authors who’s written more books than he’s actually read”.
Similarly as somebody who’s hosted more podcasts than I’ve perhaps listened to, under duress from friends one of the few I’ve tried was ‘stuff you should know’ in particular an episode about Frogs, which I can happily report was utterly fascinating.
And so, just when I thought I knew most things about frogs, Andrew Benton has dropped by my inbox with the following inquiry, referring to the offer made in the Preamble (see below):
Hello Richard,
What sort of frog can we win? An amphibian, or (via Google search) ... “Frog - a thing used to hold or fasten something, in particular.”
- an ornamental coat fastener or braid consisting of a spindle-shaped button and a loop through which it passes.
- an attachment to a belt for holding a sword, bayonet, or similar weapon.
- a perforated or spiked device for holding the stems of flowers in an arrangement.
- the piece into which the hair is fitted at the lower end of the bow of a stringed instrument.
- a grooved metal plate for guiding the wheels of a railroad vehicle at an intersection.”
I’d have 5. the metal plate - it’d be huge, loads of chocolate.
Well, thank you indeed Andrew - I’ve made it to [undetermined] amount of rotations of the sun in my life, and I’ve never heard of a ‘frog’ as a fastening device. You’re definitely in pole position, thus far.
So, dear readers, which of the above options is YOUR favourite? And can we perhaps together come up with a push to get the terminology of being ‘a frog’, as in perhaps ‘the defensive midfielder who ties a side together’, into world football?
I’d argue Kante definitely gets my vote thus far - and note, this is definitely part of a #reclaimfrog movement after arguably unwarranted attacks on Germany’s much-maligned Mesut Oezil earlier in the week:
Last night’s third match, Poland v Colombia, while not perhaps a shock in terms of the result was perhaps one in terms of the execution; this was a headshot, at least to the hopes of Polish supporters and their players and staff.
Having breezed qualification much was expected of a team spearheaded by one of the world’s best No9s currently in action. Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski may have found fame (and goals) across the border, but in Robert Lewandowski, Poland boast a world-class striker capable of single-handedly wresting games from nervous opposition.
Going into their opening match against Senegal, Poland faced the remarkable stat of becoming the 13th of 14 representatives from Europe not to lose their opening match in Russia, with only defending champions Germany falling at the first hurdle.
As Jonathan Wilson so emphatically surmised after a second disastrous loss, though: “Poland, unfortunately, continue to be at their best when they are not in tournaments.”
Here was his match report from Kazan, on a night that Colombia purred back into the reckoning as a potential late-tournament contender, and the tournament saw its first European nation eliminated:
Last night’s second fixture was another fascinating battle - the type that makes the Fifa World Cup an unparalleled spectacle, as two utterly contrasting nations with markedly different footballing traditions and philosophies went head to head: Senegal v Japan.
The West Africans have already won kudos for earning the continent’s first win of Russia 2018, with not just their fans impressing with their loveable tidiness, but also their team, by bucking lazy stereotypes about the defensive discipline or organisation of African nations.
In a match that in punditry previews had been devolved into “African strength” vs “Asian technique”, both sides showed a high degree of both to hand down a result that makes Group H one of the more intriguing arm-wrestles going into the final round of group stage matches. Amy Lawrence took in the action in Ekaterinberg:
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And speaking of a salute from ‘down under’ - is there anything Australian football could offer that’s more perfect than this?
G’day you flaming galahs - that’s not a football match, THIS is a football match.
Indeed, there’s the most entirely “un-English” whiff of faint hope starting to form around Southgate’s unicorn-riding younglings, but criticism of Panama’s quality as an opponent has perhaps been overstated.
Don’t forget, this is a nation competing at their first ever World Cup. Some reasonably passable footballing nations finished behind them in qualification (*cancels next trip to the United States*) and for all their inexperience, there’s no questioning the passion of the team that went out to represent the tiny central American nation.
This terrific video of what hearing the Panamanian anthem meant to seasoned veteran commentators has done a fair rounds of the interwebs:
Wow. Panama commentators reaction off air while they listen for the first time the Panama anthem at the World Cup.
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) June 24, 2018
I totally, totally understand them pic.twitter.com/dusriPyXkB
And despite the 6-1 scoreline there were still some positives to take out of last night’s game for “the Sele”, as Fernando Cuenco writes:
From a nation that went 270 minutes without scoring at its first ever World Cup, and then had to wait another 32 years to finally score a World Cup goal, we, the good people of Australia, salute you, Panama.
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But before we delve into Day 12’s tantalising encounters, like a patient Japanese sensai, let us first rake the stones of last night’s remarkable results.
It all has to start with England’s stunning demolition of Panama, which if nothing else, has given rise to a surprise new candidate in the race for the Golden Boot:
John Stones has more #WorldCup 2018 goals than:
— BBC 5 live Sport (@5liveSport) June 24, 2018
Lionel Messi 🇦🇷
Neymar 🇧🇷
Luis Suarez 🇺🇾
Thomas Muller 🇩🇪
Sergio Aguero 🇦🇷
Edinson Cavani 🇺🇾
Outside golden boot shout? 🤣
📱⚽️ https://t.co/kL1O1g1qZ9 #ENGPAN #worldcup #bbcworldcup pic.twitter.com/cjoC9XDR8B
Ahh, Stones.
In the remarkable event that you’ve missed this result, here’s Daniel Taylor’s match report live from Novgorod, on a night where captain Harry Kane also didn’t harm his chances to emerge as the tournament’s leading scorer. Be-waistcoated manager Gareth Southgate was effusive in his praise for his lead man, as these comments post-match demonstrate:
Preamble
One of the significant reasons for Gianni Infantino’s push for an radical change to the group stages from the 2026 World Cup onwards is to prevent the raft of dead rubber games in the group stages; apparently these have blighted tournaments of yore.
So as we enter the final round of pool encounters set your alarms for “sleep in” because there will be nothing of interest ahead from here! Argentina, Argentschmina. They won’t be battling for their lives. And but for Philippe Coutinho or Toni Kroos both Brazil and Germany might have been staring at ignominous exits. Nor will there be any fascinating subplots like Portugal’s former coach Carlos Quieroz standing in the way of his own nation’s progress, as he looks to secure passage for Iran instead. Yes, after all those turgid 0-0 matches we’ve seen at Russia 2018, now comes the dead patch; so walk your pets, catch up with old lost friends, and get round to those last three years of tax returns.
Day 12 matches:
Given the need to play final games simultaneously, you are now faced with the dilemma of choice from today onwards, and rewarded with four games overnight, not three. It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure.
3pm BST/5pm MSK/12am Tuesday AEST: Uruguay v Russia, Match 33, Samara
3pm BST/5pm MSK/12am Tuesday AEST: Saudi Arabia v Egypt, Match 34, Volgograd
7pm BST/9pm MSK/4am Tuesday AEST: Iran v Portugal, Match 35, Saransk
7pm BST/9pm MSK/4am Tuesday AEST: Spain v Morocco, Match 36, Kalingrad
As always as you awake (or set off to bed) from wherever in the world you’re following this coverage do send us your best musings, quips or rants - via email (richard.parkin.casual@theguardian.com), or twitter (@rrjparkin), or simply comment below the line. Best entry wins a chocolate frog.
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