And that’s yer lot. Cheers for reading, and enjoying the interpretive dancing with me. 181 days until the whole thing starts, now. Cheers.
By common consensus the Group Of Death (because international law states there must be one) is D, with USA, Nigeria Australia and Sweden.
Meanwhile, Kevin Smith (presumably not the director of seminal slacker classics Clerks and Mallrats), isn’t best impressed. He sniffs: ‘Just have to say, Hayley Wickenheiser is not just “an ice hockier”. She’s arguably the greatest women’s ice hockey player of all time, the first non-goalie woman to play in a professional men’s league, and has 4 Olympic Gold medals (plus one silver).’
Updated
So that means England have pretty much got the draw they wanted, with relatively little traveling between Ottawa, Montreal and Moncton. The seeds France are fourth-ranked in the world, but at least they didn’t get Germany or defending champions Japan.
England’s fixtures will be:
June 9: vs France in Moncton
June 13: vs Colombia in Moncton
June 17: vs Mexico in Montreal
EXCLUSIF - Tirage au sort de la #CMF2015 ! pic.twitter.com/PAOxrRimhC
— FIFA Women'sWorldCup (@FIFAWWC) December 6, 2014
Updated
The full draw
And the final pot. The Netherlands in Group A, Norway in B, Switzerland in C, Sweden in D, Spain in E and England in F
Groups
A: Canada, New Zealand, China, Netherlands
B: Germany, Ivory Coast, Thailand, Norway
C: Japan, Cameroon, Ecuador, Switzerland
D: USA, Nigeria, Australia, Sweden
E: Brazil, Costa Rica, Korea Republic, Spain
F: France, Mexico, Colombia, England
Updated
England drawn in Group F...
...with France, Colombia and Mexico.
Onto Pot Three now, and China are in Group A, which means the opening game in Edmonton will be Canada v China. Thailand are in B, Ecuador in C, Australia in D, Korea Republic in E and Colombia in Group F.
Groups
A: Canada, New Zealand, China
B: Germany, Ivory Coast, Thailand
C: Japan, Cameroon, Ecuador
D: USA, Nigeria, Australia
E: Brazil, Costa Rica, Korea Republic
F: France, Mexico, Colombia
Waaaaaaay, they’ve made a mistake. They drew out Colombia in Group E with Brazil, which can’t happen for geographical reasons. Valcke has egg all over his face.
New Zealand drawn in Group A, Ivory Coast in B, Cameroon in C, Nigeria in D, Costa Rica in E, Mexico in F.
Groups
A: Canada, New Zealand
B: Germany, Ivory Coast
C: Japan, Cameroon
D: USA, Nigeria
E: Brazil, Costa Rica
F: France, Mexico
Groups
A: Canada
B: Germany
C: Japan
D: USA
E: Brazil
F: France
OK, now stuff of vague substance is occurring. The teams are being assigned groups - Canada are in A.
Oh, actually the groups seem to have already been assigned, but for some reason they’re still drawing them out individually, in a random order.
The draw is starting now. Nearly - the people who will draw balls from goldfish bowls. An ice hockier, a Paralympian, and two footballers - Kara Lang, who played 92 times for Canada, and Jason de Vos, who played for Wigan and Ipswich.
Oh, and of course, because he couldn’t bear for anything to be done without him, here’s Jerome Valcke to oversee the whole shebang.
A song, presumably the anthem of the tournament, is now being sung. If you changed the lyrics to something about Jesus, it would fit right in at one of those happy-clappy churches in parts of the the US. Some of the choir backing the lead singer at least have the decency to look embarrassed by the whole thing.
Updated
The eagle is called Shuéme, apparently. Sure that’s Anakin Skywalker’s mum’s name.
This mascot can move. Go Shuéme! #WWCDraw2015 pic.twitter.com/J8VFH1pck7
— FIFA Women'sWorldCup (@FIFAWWC) December 6, 2014
The girls stop dancing, but the eagle continues to pretend to fly. Because of course it does. The head honcho of the organising committee is giving a speech now. Hopefully he’ll say ‘aboot’ at some point soon.
Ah! We’re on. You’ll be happy to learn that Fifa, great bastions of equality that they are, have imbued this ceremony with exactly the same amount of bullshit as they would the men’s draw. We’re currently being treated to an interpretive dance by an enthusiastic troupe of schoolgirls, and a six-foot eagle mascot thing. As ever, it’s pretty trippy.
Looks like things are getting started in Ottawa, but they’re not showing us just yet.
Here's our seat for the #WWCDraw2015 in Ottawa. @Catrionald getting the show underway. Enjoy! pic.twitter.com/bxCTTV1aon
— FIFA Women'sWorldCup (@FIFAWWC) December 6, 2014
While we wait, let’s take in some culture. When it eventually gets underway, the draw will be made from the Canadian Museum of History, which features a 19 m (62 ft) diameter dome, on which is a 418 m2 (4,500 sq ft) abstract painting known as Morning Star by Alex Janvier. It also features the ‘Quilt of Belonging’, which is apparently ‘the largest work of textile art made about Canada.’
The draw was scheduled to start about now, but you know Fifa. Currently staring at this...
The basics
Qualified teams, and their pots
Pot 1: Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Japan, United States
Pot 2: Cameroon, Costa Rica, Côte d’Ivoire, Mexico, New Zealand, Nigeria
Pot 3: Australia, China PR, Colombia, Ecuador, Korea Republic, Thailand
Pot 4: England, Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland
The format
Teams in Pot 1 are the seeds, and will obviously be assigned a place each in the six groups. The idea is to keep teams from the same continent apart, but there are eight UEFA sides, so there will be two groups with two European teams. The top two from each group progress to the second round, plus the four best third-placed teams.
Preamble
If you find hoopla tiresome, but would still like to discover what’s what, then this is very much the place for you. Fifa do, after all, love a faff, a rigmarole, a ‘dear lord when are they going to bloody well get on with it.’ The good news is that by following this liveblog, you don’t actually have to watch the nonsense as they trot out Bridget Prinz or Mia Hamm to engage in some awkward banter before withdrawing a ball from a bowl.
For we are here to cut through the treacle and bring you the hard facts. There will be as little faff as possible - this will be the Wimbledon of the liveblog world, brutally direct and to the point. Well, that is until they really start belling around and we have to find something to fill the space. You know how it is.
England, who of course were firmly put in their place with a thorough shoeing by Germany the other week, are hoping for a favourable draw - not necessarily just in terms of who they will be playing, but where they will be playing. Canada is, as the cartographers among you will have no doubt noted, quite a big place, so Mark Sampson is hoping for as little schlepping around the place as possible.
The first two games of each group will be in the same city, before the teams disperse and the final one is staged in two different ones. Thus, in terms of minimised travel time groups E and F look to be the one to aim for, held in the relatively proximate Montreal, Ottawa and Moncton. Wouldn’t be thrilled with groups C or D, which could involve lugging yourself over to Vancouver from Winnipeg.
So with that travel talk over with, the draw is scheduled to get underway at 5pm GMT. All the details, with assorted permutations, will be right here.
Updated
Nick will be here shortly.
