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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Angharad Thomas

Woman who suspects neighbour of cheating told to 'keep out of it'

A woman suspects her neighbour of cheating on his wife and feels the need to let her know, after a similar situation happened to her, but others have told the woman to "mind her business" and to "keep out of it".

On a popular Mumsnet forum, she asked if she should write an anonymous letter to her neighbour, explaining her suspicions. She said: "I have found out that one of our neighbours appears to be having an affair. He is married with a child. We don't really know one another although I know his and his wife's names. I don't know the woman I saw him with. I don't know whether to post an anonymous note to his wife or not.

"I also don't know if my own experience is affecting my judgement. Years ago, one of my neighbours tried telling me my own husband was having an affair. She didn't do it directly and I didn't cotton on so it was only later when I found out about his affair that I realised what she had been trying to tell me. I felt grateful she had tried to intervene."

Read more: Mum shocked that her ex allows their 11-year-old to vape at his house

Many Mumsnet users were against the idea of the woman involving herself in the situation and sending an anonymous letter. One person wrote: "Just because you would have been grateful doesn’t mean this woman will be. I understand why you want to tell her but you can’t." Another mum added: "Personally, I'd stay out of it. It's nothing to do with you," which was agreed by another, saying: "I’d mind my own business."

Others said that the woman didn't have enough facts or evidence to approach the wife. One woman said: "You don't have any evidence or know the background of the situation. You may mean well but you could set off some very unpleasant consequences on a conclusion you have reached based only on appearances and your own experience, which may skew your judgement. Leave it alone."

However, some women suggested another approach to letting the wife know her husband might be having an affair. One commenter said: "Don’t send anonymous notes or texts. It’s too easily explained away as a malicious acquaintance or crazy ex. I would however just speak to her and ask if she is coping with the co-parenting and co-habiting situation ok. 'Eh, Why do you say that?'- she asks. Because you saw Kevin with his new girlfriend. Come from a place of concern. Non-confrontational. Offer the information that she asks for." While another added: "I find it disturbing how many people say to mind your own business.... almost like you all think it's ok to be having any affair. Personally, I would let her know."

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