In this digital age, it has become incredibly easy to share your location with friends and family for safety reasons or via social media apps. However, some people think that tracking a loved one's location can be intrusive and lead to controlling behaviour within a relationship.
A woman took to Mumsnet after being shocked that her friend thought she was displaying controlling and abusive behaviour by tracking her husband, even though they have both consented to share their location with each other. On the popular forum, she asked if she and her husband were being unreasonable after one of her friends reacted like she had done something "awful" by checking where he was.
She said: "This should really be AWBU [are we being unreasonable] because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH [dear husband] is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other 'where are you?', having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc.
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"It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.
"We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH [dear husband] was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways).
"I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd. AWBU [are we being unreasonable]? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?"
Many people were against the idea, with some calling it "creepy". One commenter said: "It's not for me. I couldn't be doing with being tracked." Another added: "I would hate someone to know where I was at all times, and therefore I wouldn't ask them to share their location. I can see it does work well in some relationships, but I also hope it doesn't become the norm. E.g. thinking of new relationships between young adults, I think that is a new creepy thing a boyfriend can ask you to do, and you may find it hard to say no."
Another commenter said that this type of behaviour should not be "normalised", saying: "I never have my location on by default. If my husband were to insist on it (and he hasn’t ever asked once), I would tell him where to go. I don’t know his location by default either. It’s weird and controlling and frankly awful to suggest that real-time tracking should be the norm!"
However, some commenters said that they also track their partners to see where they are and that it's a "genius" idea. One woman said: "We share locations. I get the same reaction if horror quite a lot. I think it's genius." While another added: "Me and my husband are the same - it's so useful and realistically it's not like we are somewhere we aren't supposed to be so I don't see the problem.
"It's also only checked if and when needed which isn't often to be fair. We also have my two sons location and I have my mum and dad (they have mine). Mainly dad as he loses his phone a lot so always good to check it's near him and mum just does.
"I don't mind at all - the only time I turned it off was when I went to tescos during covid as I had cancer, so I didn't want my mum to know. So for me, I don't have a problem with it at all but understand it's not for everyone."
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