An anonymous woman has expressed her confusion after her sister-in-law demanded she change her last name - because she said it made her "uncomfortable" that her family were not the only ones who used the moniker.
The woman explained that after she got married four years ago, she chose to keep her own last name and did not take her husband's, as this was a personal choice that she decided to make.
But now, her brother's wife is demanding she take her husband's surname and ditch her maiden name because she thinks her side of the family should be the only ones who are able to use the name.
The woman said that now her sister-in-law is pregnant, she has an issue with her keeping her original last name and has even said she isn't "respecting" her husband by not taking his last name instead.
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In a Reddit post, she said: "I got married 4 years ago and I chose to keep my last name. My older brother has been married a few years longer than me - we aren't super close but I see them all the time at family events.
"My sister-in-law and I have always gotten along fine and we have never had any sort of issues at all. She is currently pregnant and invited me out to lunch last weekend, which was weird and out of the blue, but I thought maybe since she is pregnant she wants us to be closer for the baby.
"Everything was fine, we were making small talk about the baby and how they were preparing.
"Then she dropped the bomb on me the reason she asked me to lunch was that she wants me to change my last name to my husband's. She told me since now she is pregnant the last name will now be her family name and she would feel uncomfortable with me having it too.
"I told her this has been my last name my entire life and I have no plans to change it. I also told her that if I were a man then it would be my family name too, so what is the difference? She told me it would be different if I were a man and I need to grow up show some respect for my husband and change it. I just again told her no."
The woman said her sister-in-law got in touch again a few days later asking if she'd had a chance to think about things, and when the woman still refused to change her last name, her brother's wife told her she was being "immature and disrespectful".
She added: "She texted me yesterday asking if I had thought about it. I just replied that I would not be changing my last name and I was sorry if that made her uncomfortable.
"She sent me back a ton of texts pretty much just telling me I'm immature and disrespectful, I need to grow up and I am not only disrespecting my marriage but also hers and my brothers.
"I haven't responded and I don't plan to but I feel bad. I don't want to cause problems but I've had my last name my entire life. It's part of my identity and I don't want to change it. My husband thinks the entire thing is comical but I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it."
Commenters on the post were firmly on the woman's side, as many of them said her sister-in-law doesn't "own" the surname and she shouldn't feel pressured to change it.
One person said: "This is so sexist. Your sister-in-law doesn’t own the name, and it’s not less your name because you’re a woman."
While another added: "Your name, your choice. Nobody else can demand you change it and get their way without your cooperation."
And a third wrote: "It’s actually your family name, not hers. It’s only hers by marriage. She had no right to ask that of you. It’s utterly ridiculous!"
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