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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Politics
Jon Sharman

Woman leaves restaurant date after finding out man voted for Trump

A woman reportedly “got up and left” a date after discovering he had voted for Donald Trump.

Bryan Leib, 32, said the pair had spent over two hours together at Philadelphia's Nineteen restaurant having drinks. 

But after learning about his political leanings "she stopped in her tracks and said, ‘You know what, Bryan? This has been a lot of fun, but I think we’re two completely different people’," he told The Philadelphia Inquirer.

Then "she literally got up and left,” he added. 

The pair had met on a dating app. Mr Leib, a member of the Philadelphia Young Republicans, added that he would be willing to date someone who had voted for Hillary Clinton.

Melissa Hobley, of dating website OK Cupid, told the paper: “We’re finding that politics are becoming a bigger deal-breaker today, maybe the most they’ve been in many years.”

Of the million people surveyed by the site on whether they would date someone who voted for Mr Trump, 65 per cent answered “no” or “hell, no”.

Earlier this year Jean Fitzpatrick, a relationship therapist, told The Independent  Mr Trump’s ascent to power has become a frequent topic during her appointments with clients.

“Since the election and the inauguration the most frequent issue is a difference in emotional intensity between partners,” she said. “Usually both are unhappy with the administration, but many women are taking it more personally than their male partners. They are still outraged by the “pussy-grabbing” video and deeply concerned about reproductive rights. 

“Often they want to vent to their partners. Many of the men, on the other hand, are coping by compartmentalising their feelings.  Venting and compartmentalising are both ways to try to manage anxiety and anger, but they can run counter to each other. When one partner is feeling overwhelmed and vents to her husband, his own anxiety gets activated and he may tell her to calm down or stop obsessing. That leads her to feel even more frustrated and disrespected. She gets angry and he retreats further. It's a cycle."

A similar phenomenon was reported in the UK following the referendum vote on whether to leave the European Union.

Relationship counsellor Gurpreet Singh from Relate told The Independent: “Arguments over Brexit, who to vote for and other topical debates can bring up underlying issues within the relationship as they highlight where couples have a lack of shared values. “

Mr Singh added that a politically divisive event can bring up a whole host of questions for a concerned partner.  

“When people react to things this strongly they are reacting to what they feel is a very deep-rooted value system," he said. "For couples, if one votes for Trump and the other doesn’t, what does that say about the person you’re married to and their value system? Value systems give you your moral compass and how you will raise children, for example, and if one person is talking about voting for Trump and the other is going ‘I can’t believe you’re even thinking of that’. How does the other person react to that?” 

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