A woman has expressed her irritation after her friend, a mum-of-two, invited herself to stay at her house for 10 days with her young children.
The friend currently lives abroad and has planned a holiday to the UK with her husband and two young children in tow, without checking with the woman beforehand. Now, she's unsure whether it's unreasonable to ask her friend to find alternative accommodation.
Taking to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable [AIBU] thread, she sought advice on whether she was justified to feel annoyed by her friend's behaviour.
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In a post titled "AIBU to think you can't invite yourself to someone's house?!", she wrote: "So a bit of a backstory (please bear with me). My partner and I have been friends with this couple for almost 6 years now but they've now moved to another country. Almost 2 years ago, we visited that country but we didn't stay with them, so we just met for a nice lunch and at the end we were saying good-bye and I said it would be nice to meet again and that they were welcome anytime if they happened to be in the UK.
"Fast forward to January this year, my friend messages me out of nowhere saying that they've bought flight tickets to come to the UK and gives me the dates. I find this odd, as she gives me details of flight times and everything so I braced myself and asked, where were they going to stay. She says, "With you, I hope it's not a problem". Bear in mind my friend is coming for TEN DAYS with her partner and 2 toddlers. Neither her nor her husband discussed any of these plans with us beforehand.
"I asked my partner if he knew anything about this and he said he hasn't spoken with either one of them in months. We are both so surprised because they've never done anything like this (That I know of) and even if out of politeness I said they could visit us anytime, I'd still expect a heads up, especially because it's not just coming around for tea, it's hosting a family day and night.
"They really are nice people but I don't know what to do. Should I host them because it is my fault for welcoming them "Anytime" 2 years ago? Or should I ask them to find other accommodation for their trip?"
The woman's post was met with a range of responses from fellow Mumsnet users.
One said: "a family of four for ten days? No way. I am the wussiest of all wusses and I would say no, it's too much for all of you. You could offer a night or two and help to find an airbnb if you're feeling nice/guilty."
Another said: "Well they've definitely taken what you said quite literally but surely no one books flights and assumes they can stay without checking first?? (ok, it seems they do)".
A third simply said: "Obviously you say no."
And another commented: "We have close friends we go to stay with for 2 or 3 days at a time (and they with us) but I'd never book the dates without asking them first - they might be away themselves on those dates, for example. Bizarre not to check the dates at least before booking."
A fifth said: "No-one books flights and then announces they'll be turning up for 10 days to stay, along with their two toddlers. It's quite unbelievable."
In a follow up comment, the original posted added: "I should've included this before (Sorry not a frequent poster)...I did reply to her and said we could accommodate them but that I was surprised they even had tickets because we had no idea they even had plans to visit us. I guess I'm now regretting this decision and realise that it's probably a bit late to ask them to find somewhere else to stay."
At the time of writing, 85% of Mumsnet users voted the woman was not being unreasonable to feel annoyed by her friend's unexpected visit.
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