Not everyone agrees with it, but it’s pretty common for parents to tell their kids little white lies. Things like Santa Claus being real or the Tooth Fairy leaving money under their pillow are harmless enough.
But what this Redditor went through was far from innocent. She spent her entire life believing she had severe allergies to milk and chocolate, and was never allowed to eat or drink anything that contained them. Then one day, she discovered it was all a lie.
When she confronted her parents, things quickly spiraled into chaos. Read the full story below.
The woman spent her entire life believing she had severe allergies
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Until one day, she discovered it was all a lie fabricated by her parents
Image credits: Chatham172 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: svitlini / Envato (not the actual photo)
Lying to children can have a big impact on them later in life
I’m no stranger, like I’m sure many aren’t, to parents sprinkling little lies here and there. The ones about how those tiny footprints by the fireplace really were from Santa, or that the Easter Bunny himself had scattered all those chocolate eggs in the garden. Most of us laugh about them later, realizing they were harmless ways to make childhood a bit more magical.
But the woman in the story above had to live with a lie that went far beyond anything playful. For nearly two decades, she was made to believe she had life-threatening allergies. It shaped what she ate, how she lived, and even how she saw herself—until one day, she discovered none of it was real. Her parents had made it all up.
And while her case is extreme, it raises a valid question: what actually happens when parents lie to their children? Turns out, research suggests those “harmless” lies might not be so harmless after all.
According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, childhood experiences of being lied to by parents are linked to social and emotional challenges later in life.
The research, led by Peipei Setoh, an assistant professor at Nanyang Technological University and director of the Early Cognition Lab, found that people who were lied to as children were more likely to lie to their parents later in life and experience guilt, shame, and difficulty adjusting socially.
Participants were asked to recall whether their parents had told them lies related to eating, misbehavior, or spending money. Examples included phrases like, “If you don’t come with me now, I’ll leave you here by yourself,” or “I didn’t bring any money today; we can come back another time.”
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
As Setoh explained to PsyPost, “Being lied to in childhood predicts lying to parents and social challenges in adulthood. The lies we studied were parental lies told to manipulate children’s emotions or behavior. The implication of the study is that parents should consider lying less to their children.”
The problem, she added, is that these lies often teach children that dishonesty is a valid way to solve problems or control situations. Over time, that can lead to trust issues and emotional distance. Instead of learning how to regulate their feelings or handle disappointment, kids learn to model the very behavior their parents are trying to avoid.
Ronald E. Riggio, a professor of leadership and organizational psychology at Claremont McKenna College, made a similar point in an article for Psychology Today. “According to social learning theory, children learn behaviors from modeling/imitating their parents’ behaviors,” he wrote. “So lying to kids may lead them to believe lying is OK and follow suit.”
Of course, not every small fib is equally damaging, Riggio noted. The number and intent of the lies matter. Occasional white lies, especially from parents who are otherwise warm and supportive, may have little impact. But when lies are used to control or manipulate, the effect can be deeply harmful.
Both experts agree that honesty, even when uncomfortable, is the better path. Parents can listen to their child and explain situations truthfully instead of relying on deception.
“As parents, we aim to build a trusting and positive relationship with our children. We can do this by acknowledging children’s feelings, and providing them accurate information so that they can problem solve on their own. This aids the development of their reasoning skills and emotion regulation,” Setoh said.
Readers agreed this was a shocking thing to do, with many suggesting the author should distance herself from her parents
The woman later returned with an update, revealing that her mom spiraled out of control after the confrontation
Image credits: africaimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: shotprime / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: voronaman111 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Readers shared words of support and expressed hope that she was safe
Finally, the author shared one last follow-up to explain what happened next
Image credits: acinar13 / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawayforcocoa
Readers told her not to blame herself for any of it
