A woman has turned to the internet for advice after fearing she will need to cancel her July wedding as her long-term partner is still married to his wife. In a Mumsnet post, the woman described how devastated she was at the shocking news.
She said that her and her partner of 10 years booked their wedding in January, and when her partner's children went home to their mum and told her she said: "She pointed out that when they had separated 12 years ago they had never actually got divorced. My partner says he can’t actually remember this but yes, it turns out they are still married."
The husband-to-be started divorce proceedings almost immediately after finding out the news back in January but now the July wedding is looking less and less likely to happen as they have to give notice of intent to marry in June. You can get more stories like this by subscribing to our newsletters here.
After chasing his solicitors, they said: "You are unlikely to be able to get married in July, and says he is about to waste £30k." In the post the woman added that they usually live an "idyllic life" and their wedding invites went out just last week. She said her partner feels that she is hassling him over the divorce and added: "His comment about me being on his case (why isn’t he eager to get it sorted himself!) about how there was no mention of how much he wants to marry me - just that he will lose £30k."
The woman has been struggling to come to terms with this and has turned to the internet for help. She said: "He didn’t come to bed last night, and this morning I’ve not been able to stop crying which he is angry about. He’s invited his pregnant daughter and ex wife around this morning and I said please don’t as I don’t want to see anyone.
"I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I know we are lucky, but the £30k on the wedding isn’t much compared to income, so whilst it is a waste - he normally wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at it. His bloody wife is sat downstairs."
In the comments one mum said: "I would definitely be cancelling! And walking away from the relationship to be honest. How can someone forget they didn't get divorced? That's not something you tend to forget. Not only that but he has completely disregarded your thoughts and feelings as well in a number of ways. If he filed for divorce in January and it's straightforward what is the delay? Why will they not be divorced by July? Usually if something doesn't make sense it isn't true."
Another mum added: "Honestly I know you're distraught now, but I think he might have done you a favour long term. He knew he was married, and was apparently prepared to commit bigamy, leaving you in a whole heap of potential trouble. He doesn't really care about you. If you want to marry someone, that someone should be your absolute number one top priority. You're not his I'm afraid. He doesn't even care enough about your feelings. You deserve better. Please re-evaluate this relationship."
One person commented: "In life, people tell and show us who they are - it’s down to us to believe it. Honestly, this is a blessing. He doesn’t sound like a nice person, forget cancelling the wedding, CANCEL THE RELATIONSHIP! The universe has given you this gift (the situation) now is the time to think what do you want. If you’re still not convinced, write a list of pros and cons about this man and pros and cons of the relationship. You will see - what you WANT and what you HAVE here is not aligned. I wish you all the best - there’s no shame only joy in choosing yourself."