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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Amber Raiken

Woman documents ‘solo night out’ as she reveals she’s stopped using dating apps: ‘That was really hard’

angelicaexplainsitall / TikTok

A woman has revealed that since she’s stopped using dating apps, she’ll be going on her own “solo nights out,” prompting praise from viewers.

In a video posted on 17 January, Angelica, @angelicaexplainsitall, explained that she was going to go the full year without using dating apps. However, while she didn’t want to rely on the apps for introductions, she explained that she still wanted to open herself up to meeting new people, so planned to take herself out on solo nights.

“I still want to meet people,” she said. “So tonight, it’s Friday. I’m going to go out by myself.”

In the video, Angelica proceeded to show the outfit she’d chosen for the occasion, which consisted of a black sheer top with blue jeans.

The clip then includes a video taken by Angelica at the restaurant she went to, which was playing live music. However, she explained that she felt like it was “a little embarrassing” and decided to look for another place to go to.

She then filmed herself at a bar, while noting the evening was “not going as planned.”

The video concluded with the TikToker back home, where she tearfully revealed that she was disappointed by how the night had gone.

“I genuinely thought that I was going to meet people,” she said. “The jazz bar was too crowded, there wasn’t even anywhere to sit.”

Despite her disappointment with the first attempt, Angelica revealed that she planned to try again. “I’m going to go again,” she said, adding: “I’m going to keep trying. But that was really hard.”

The video has since been viewed more than 1.4m times, with viewers in the comments applauding Angelica for going out alone.

“This is actually remarkably brave,” one user wrote. “I’m sorry the night didn’t end the way you wanted, but am genuinely proud of you for trying.”

“This is Big Dream Energy!” another person wrote. “Going out alone is SO hard and takes such courage. You ARE the main character!!”

Other TikTok users shared their own experiences and advice for spending an evening on their own.

“My first solo night out I had the EXACT same experience,” one person admitted. “Cried as soon as I got home and felt so alone. We’re so conditioned to be in groups, being alone can feel like such a failure.

“But you should be so f**king proud of yourself for putting yourself out there. Thank you for sharing your reality.”

According to another person, becoming a “regular” somewhere can make the process easier, with the comment reading: “My recommendation is to become a regular somewhere. Get to know the bartenders. That’s always how I do it and it works.”

In a follow-up video, Angelica shared a recap of the evening. She noted that she didn’t “set an intention for the night out,” as she went out thinking that she wanted to meet people, but also just enjoy her own company, which she noted were “two conflicting ideas.”

“I could have started conversations with people, the opportunity presented itself, but I was too nervous,” she explained. “I also could have just sat at the cute bar I went to, had my cocktail by myself, and enjoyed my own company.”

According to Angelica, another takeaway from the experience was the importance of planning, as she noted that she wants to “really plan the night” before trying again, so she can enjoy her time alone.

She also explained that she wants to branch outside of more than just bars, and attend shows and restaurants by herself. “I don’t want the feeling of not having anyone to go do these things with to stop me from doing these things,” she said.

Although her first night alone “ended in tears,” she said she’s not “actually sad.”

“I’m pretty fine with the night,” she concluded, adding: “And even though it was not how I planned it, I’m going to do it again.”

The Independent has reached out to Angelica for comment.

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