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Indrė Lukošiūtė

Woman Finds Out How Mom Knew What She Was Speaking With Her Therapist About

A therapy session should be a safe space where you can say anything without fear of being judged. It goes without saying that whatever is discussed must be treated as confidential.

Often, the therapist will make notes during the session so that they can track a patient’s progress, remember key details or plan future treatment. Parts of these notes might also serve as a record for insurance purposes.

Imagine one woman’s horror when she found out that her mother had gained access to her therapy session notes, and had been secretly reading them for the past three years. The 25-year-old feels “physically sick.” Her mother says she’s overreacting.

People often go to therapy to process their childhood trauma in a safe, confidential space

Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But this woman’s mother violated her trust by secretly spying on her sessions for three years

Image credits: Sarah Dietz / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Karola G / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits:

She later said that she’d been advised to go ‘no contact’ but feels guilty

Woman confronting the betrayal and loss of trust after discovering mom spied on her therapy sessions and used it against her.

How safe are your secrets with your therapist? Here’s what the experts say…

For many people to feel comfortable enough to truly be vulnerable and honest during therapy sessions, they’d need to know that whatever they say is treated with confidentiality. They need to be able to trust their therapist and know that their deepest secrets are not going to be leaked to a third party.

There are actually laws to protect the privacy of therapy patients. In the United States, there’s the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996, while in Europe, therapists must adhere to the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).

Yes, therapists do take notes during sessions but these are so that they can keep track of a patient’s progress, remember any important points and plan future sessions or treatment. The notes might also be used for insurance purposes. But experts say that many therapists won’t include everything when they write up their official session notes.

Australian psychotherapist Genevieve David has more than 20 years experience and believes that sometimes less is more. David told Psychology Today that a therapist might decide not to include certain things in a client’s notes if they were likely to be misunderstood and cause the client unnecessary harm if exposed.

“Under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act’s (HIPAA’s) Privacy Rule, psychotherapy
notes are held to a higher level of confidentiality than the rest of the patient’s medical record,” reads the American Psychiatric Association’s Quick Practice Guide. “While the rest of a patient’s medical record may be released for review to the patient’s insurer for payment audits or other insurance reviews, psychotherapy notes may not.”

When is a therapist allowed to break confidentiality?

There are some circumstances where a therapist can break confidentiality. For example, if the client poses a danger to themselves or others, if the therapist suspects a child, elderly person or another dependent adult is being harmed by the client, or if the therapist is legally forced by court order to disclose certain information.

“Even when a therapist is compelled to break confidentiality, they are generally careful about only disclosing what is necessary to protect their client or others, and they only tell third parties who urgently need to have that information,” notes Psychology Today.

If you were ever wondering whether your therapist talks about you to their family at home, they just might. 

“We’d all be lying if we tried to say that we never talk about our patients,” David reveals. “It’s just attending very carefully to whether we’re showing off about them, what we are doing with it. Are we just needing some comfort? Are we getting a different perspective? I find that my husband’s view, a male perspective for my male patients, can be incredibly helpful.”

“This is why you’re in therapy”: netizens showered the woman with support

Quite a few people shared their own similar experiences

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