Many people are insecure about their looks. They might not like how their bodies look, or they might just be unhappy with a feature or two, like their nose or legs. Surveys show that 20% of adults feel ashamed of their bodies. Although other people might not even see it, we can always find something we don’t like about ourselves.
For this person, it was his body hair. Because he opted to regularly shave it, he usually took a long time in the shower. His GF grew suspicious of what he might be doing in there, so she decided to pick the bathroom lock and see. Panic and shouting ensued, and after a fight, the guy was confused about whether his reaction to this invasion of privacy was appropriate or if his GF was right to get mad.
We reached out to the Founder of Man For Himself, Robin James. He is an expert on male grooming, hair, and fragrance, and he has kindly agreed to tell Bored Panda more about the reasons why some men choose to shave and how important privacy is for these kinds of things. Read our interview with him below!
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A guy found himself in a relationship dilemma because his showers took too long
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
After his GF violated his privacy, he decided to ask people whether his reaction was inappropriate
Image credits: ADDICTIVE_STOCK (not the actual image)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual image)
Image credits: Fogged_Mirror_1192
Some men shave for athletic reasons, some for hygienic reasons, and for others, it’s a styling choice
Robin James, male grooming industry expert, tells us that grooming is a personal journey. “There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one person might not work for another. It’s important for men to experiment and find what makes them feel most confident and comfortable.”
If a man chooses to shave his body hair, the reasons can be various. “Some do it for athletic purposes—swimmers and cyclists, for instance, shave to reduce drag and enhance performance,” James tells Bored Panda.
“Others might do it for aesthetic reasons, preferring the clean, smooth look that aligns with their personal style.”
Robin says that shaving the hair off increases body definition, so shaving to enhance the appearance of muscles is also a thing.
The third possible reason is simple cleanliness. “There are also those who find it more comfortable or hygienic, especially in warmer climates or for those with particularly thick body hair,” Robin points out. “It’s all about personal preference and comfort.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
A loving partner would support their loved one’s grooming decisions
Nobody likes it when other people are picking on their insecurities. We’re self-conscious about our perceived flaws as is, so when someone doesn’t respect our privacy, it hurts our ego even more. “Privacy in personal grooming is important, especially for men who might feel self-conscious about their body,” James says.
“Creating a safe and private environment allows men to explore and establish their grooming routines without judgment. It’s important for men to feel comfortable and confident in their own skin, and privacy can provide the necessary space for this,” the grooming expert says.
It can be hard to confront someone over their comments or ridicule about your grooming habits. But Robin says that the best way is to openly talk about it. “My advice is to have an open and honest conversation about how these comments make you feel.”
“Explain that grooming is a personal choice that helps you feel your best. Mutual respect is key in any relationship, and your partner should understand and support your grooming decisions just as you would support theirs. If your partner can’t get on board with your personal choices, it could be that they’re not the right person for you!”
Manscaping is a personal choice; some choose to do it, and others don’t. There’s no shame in doing it or letting your hair grow out naturally. “Remember, grooming should be about enhancing your own sense of well-being and confidence, not about adhering to external pressures or standards,” Robin James emphasizes.
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual image)
A partner has a right to their privacy in a romantic relationship
People in the comments called out the girlfriend in this story for violating her boyfriend’s privacy in a very untactful way. Honestly, when did couples stop talking and start picking locks while the other one is in the bathroom? Two people in a couple might have different notions of boundaries. One might think that what they understand as secrecy is actually privacy.
Marriage and relationship expert Sheri Stritof writes for VeryWell Mind that the difference lies in intentionality. Privacy is about boundaries, thoughts, opinions, and experiences that are separate from the relationship. Secrets, on the other hand, are kept from a partner intentionally.
In fact, privacy in a relationship is healthy, while secrecy can be toxic and destructive. “In any relationship, you have the right to keep a part of your life secret, no matter how trivial or how important, for the sole reason that you want to,” Stritof writes.
Some people think that two people in a romantic relationship need to share every thought, opinion, and feeling with each other. Otherwise, they’re not being honest. But respecting your partner’s privacy actually demonstrates trust. “Having this sense of privacy helps people maintain an independent sense of self and have time and space to themselves,” according to Stritof.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)
The guy defended his reaction in the comments
Many people thought the girlfriend’s behavior was beyond strange
Others thought that both parties needed to grow up and that they were both at fault
