When it comes to weddings, you can often expect your nearest and dearest to be there to celebrate with you.
So it is only natural that one bride-to-be was baffled when her older brother and sister-in-law declined to attend her special day.
The unnamed woman claims that her brother's refusal to attend apparently came out of nowhere and shared her story online to get other people's thoughts on the peculiar situation, The Mirror reports.
In a post on Reddit's Wedding Planning forum, the woman details how she is "fairly close" with her brother and his wife had been supportive throughout her engagement, even coming dress shopping with her.
The bride-to-be had made it known in advance that she would not be having children at her wedding, as her brother has two kids.
Her sibling didn't comment on this rule - until he received his invite.
The bride-to-be wrote: "I need to rant somewhere... I can't believe this happened.
"I have one older brother and we are fairly close. He lives three hours away and I visit him, my SIL, and their children at least every two months, on holidays, send cards, and use my PTO every year to babysit the kids so they can go on vacation. I'm the only person who will babysit extended periods for them. My SIL went wedding dress shopping with me and both have been very supportive.
"I messaged them long ago if they'd be okay if the kids weren't invited as there would only possibly be four children total and it's planned to be an adult event. They responded weeks later and I said everything has gone to the printer with no children options, no response again. I offered to find them a local babysitter.
"They received the invitation and within hours texted asking if the kids can come. I said it's not a kid-friendly event. He then texts that they won't be coming, because they don't want to hire a babysitter."
The brother went on to share how they didn't want to get a babysitter because their four-year-old screams when he is around strangers.
As such the woman couldn't believe he didn't understand why the child wouldn't be welcome at the wedding - where he will be surrounded by strangers.
She goes on to say how the couple regularly hires a babysitter twice a month for date nights, so she didn't think it would be a big deal in this instance.
"I'm completely shocked," she continued. "It never even occurred to me my own brother wouldn't attend. I expected 50% of the people to decline, but not my brother.
"I told him how hurt I was. Now he's saying they could hire a babysitter drive down, stay for a couple of hours and drive home, but now I'm upset.
"I've babysat a week at a time every year, attended recitals, visited regularly for 8 years. I invite them to one event, my Wedding, and they decline?!"
The woman later shared an update saying they would not be attending the wedding at all as they had given her an ultimatum.
The couple said the whole family attend or none of them attend.
She adds that she thinks the initial messages she sent her brother about having a child-free wedding ages ago must have upset her sister-in-law and "offended" them.
"Now my brother is between an offended wife and upset sister. He's siding with his wife, which I do believe is the right thing to do," she wrote.
Hundreds of people responded to her post, with some being able to see both sides of the argument and others outraged on the bride's behalf.
One person replied: "That’s heartbreaking. But unfortunately, that’s the risk we take when we invite folks but not their kids. It’s not fair, it doesn’t make it better, but you set a boundary…and they also set one.
"Personally, I wouldn’t want the risk of a 4-year-old who 'screams around strangers' being at my wedding. But you have to weigh the pros and cons. It sounds like they offered a compromise and have been otherwise supportive, so you may have to meet them halfway and accept what they’re willing to give."
Another said: "What’s stopping your brother attending while his wife stays with the kids? We’re having a child-free wedding and have several partnerships who are splitting off with one coming and the other staying if they don’t want to use a sitter. Your brother is choosing to be nasty about this."
A third posted: "If I were you, the next time they ask for a babysitter I would just say no. Honestly, weddings sometimes show you what people are willing to do (or not do) for you. It doesn’t sound like your brother tried which is the hurtful part. Can’t their in-laws watch the kids?"
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