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Wales Online
Wales Online
Lydia Stephens

Woman addresses 'embarrassing' issue many face after having children

A woman has spoken candidly about the "embarrassing" but common issue women often face after having children. Hairdresser turned personal instructor Zoe Calaway admitted she felt embarrassed of the incontinence issues she faced after having her first son, but wants to share her experience to break down the shame women often feel when going through the problem.

After giving birth to her first child at the age of 24, Zoe described how she felt "completely alien" in her own body and wanted to start exercising to feel herself again. However, when she attempted her first run she was left in "tears" after just ten minutes of exercise resulted in her wetting herself.

Zoe, from Trehafod in the Rhondda, said: "I was quite active before I had my first son, I would go to the gym, I didn't know what I was doing but I would work out. After I had him I went for a run and I came back about 10 minutes later in tears. I had wet myself, I was absolutely soaking."

Read more: 'My breastfeeding experience was easy until one day it made me want to scratch my skin off'

She added: "I was so upset. I went in the bath and sorted myself out and I thought you know what I am going to go again, so I put a sanitary towel on and went again and when I came back it was wet again. I thought something is not right here.

"I remember going out about two years later and dancing in a nightclub and feeling like I needed to stop. And I would think I'm 26, I shouldn't feel like this but you just figure out how to work around it. I felt really alone and on my own with it. I just decided not to run."

Like many young women, Zoe didn't address the problem and just accepted it as something that you go through after having a baby. She said she always felt embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it.

Zoe wants other women to know they shouldn't be ashamed of any incontinence they experience after having children (Zoe Calaway)

Urinary incontinence can affect women both during and after their pregnancy. It is a very common problem, and according to the National Charity for Pregnancy, Birth and Early Childhood, a third of women suffer from incontinence within the first three months following birth.

According to NCT, experiencing incontinence during pregnancy is the result of weak pelvic floor muscles. Women are told to do pelvic floor exercises throughout their pregnancy and after birth to help support those muscles.

However, birth can also cause damage to your pelvic muscles. The NCT say that almost 38% of women were self-conscious speaking about the problem with a healthcare professional, and they say the problem is curable but only if you get help from a midwife, GP or health visitor. If you have any concerns related to these issues, it is advised you speak to your GP who can refer you to a women's health physiotherapist.

Her experience put her off running but she also felt intimidated returning to the gym. She added: "I just felt like an alien in my own body. My body felt completely different as a woman."

She turned to home workouts instead. She developed a real passion for fitness and nutrition during this time and lost four stone following the birth of her first child and a further five stone following the birth of her second three years later. She even competed as a bikini competitor in bodybuilding five times.

"I was 24 when I had my first son, but now I'm 34, I think I don't care. I am open about it. I make a joke of it in the class that I can't join in with the star jumps. And it isn't something to be ashamed of as it happens to so many of us after we have babies. You are told when you are pregnant to do your pelvic floor exercises but no one tells you how important they are.

"I've not addressed it until recently but now I have exercises to do to address it. I think women should know that it is not something they have to live with. It is like any muscle it can get stronger if you work on it."

After losing the weight on her own through home workouts, the former hairdresser developed a great knowledge and passion for women's health and fitness and decided to become a personal trainer.

"I started off working in a mixed gym and I could tell that some of my clients just weren't comfortable. You could feel a change if a man walked in, some women find working out in front of men intimidating.

"And women have that additional worry that men are looking at them too, even if they are not, it can be an intimidating environment for some people."

So Zoe opened a gym and fitness class in August 2021 in the building of her hairdressers, with the salon on one floor and a fitness classroom in the basement. The business went from strength to strength, starting with her working with around 30 clients, then needing to launch a waiting list and eventually needing to find a bigger space.

In April 2022, Zoe closed her hair salon and opened Exclusive Women's Fitness on Hannah Street in Porth. She now has over 300 clients at the gym, where she hosts classes throughout the week and personal training sessions. The gym also has a range of equipment that members can use on their own.

"It is a women's only gym and almost all of our members say they wouldn't want to workout in a unisex space. There is a real demand for it."

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