Now that most of the world is on lockdown, people are finding ways to cope. While a Delhi colony plays Bingo across balconies, Europeans sing and put on live music performances across theirs. My period of self-isolation is turning out to be hectic. Mumbai’s social hysteria may have died down, but people are putting their online game faces on. I’ve already attended multiple soirées, via the Zoom and Houseparty apps. And let me tell you, women are worried, very worried — about their hair. Without a regular visit to the salon, life is falling apart. “I’d kill for a blow dry,” moaned one fashionista friend of mine. Some, so afraid of their greys showing, have taken to applying mascara to their roots. With the 21-day lockdown, things are looking even more bleak. Haven’t you noticed how precipitously Instagram selfies have plummeted?
Like most people, my phone is on overdrive, inundated with WhatsApp messages, emails and text, besides the various video calls that keep popping up. First there’s the daily check-in to my boomer parents in Delhi, then the messages to read and respond to, from friends in India and around the world, and yes, the constant sifting and reading of various articles on coronavirus shared on myriad group chats. That’s aside from the work commitments, which I juggle while simultaneously trouble-shooting digital issues during my 10-year old’s home school periods. “Mum,” is a battle cry that is heard every 15 minutes around the house. Then there’s overseeing household chores and the constant worry of ensuring a fresh food supply. And what about dealing with a spouse whose capitalist side is worried about the impending global recession? Unused to being at home so much, he is driving me crazy!
In these days of crisis, I’ve tossed aside Arianna Huffington’s missives on digital detox, which basically means I check my phone as soon as I wake up and right before I sleep. The other day, as I scrolled through WhatsApp at 6.30 am, I found an invite from a pal in New York for an online Instagram-live party hosted by DJ D-Nice. About 4,000 people ‘showed’ up to the party, called Homeschool, including celebrities like Jennifer Lopez, Oprah, (former US vice president) Joe Biden, and Rihanna.
For my friend Bhavna Vaidya’s birthday last Monday, we all dialled into a Zoom meeting. With 12 windows open at the same time, it was a tad chaotic, but at least we were able to spend some time looking at each other. Unfortunately, I took the ‘let’s dress up’ instructions seriously, which meant I was the most overdressed person at the virtual meet. Luckily, since only the upper half of your body could be seen, it didn’t seem as egregious a fault as the real-life situation would pose. There are indeed some tangible benefits to living in the cloud.
People have fallen into something of a routine. I don’t yet know of anyone who has run a marathon within the confines of their home, but it seems like most people are exercising, doing yoga, meditating, reading and definitely over-eating. As for booze, unless you’re a teetotaller, pregnant, or underage, the daily tipple is a source of succour. Some, after working out in the early evening, have an aperitif at 7 pm, followed by dinner. Others have advanced their cocktail hour to anything post three o’clock. And there are still others who revel in lunch time drinking, followed by an afternoon siesta. Like the Buddhists, I’ve adopted a middle path — enjoying a few glasses every alternate day or so. This method cuts down on the calories and bloating, although it doesn’t assuage frayed nerves as regularly as I would like.
The upside to all this is that the family is spending so much time together. Rather than pay to do that on an expensive holiday, we are doing it within the comfort of our own home. The 14-year-old and I have enrolled for a college-level humanities course on world literature. I am up to date on all the lessons my 5th grader is doing at school. I got around to finishing two non-fiction hardback books that were languishing on a side table. And I am no longer sleep deprived. Anxiety and stress may not recede, but they can be met with equanimity. So what if every day is a bad hair day!
This fortnightly column tracks the indulgent pursuits of the one-percenters.
