HATERS GOONER HATE
As is often the case on Sky Sports’ Monday Night Football, the actual football was arguably the least entertaining aspect of the four-hour televisual marathon, even if Arsenal’s scoreless draw with Liverpool was something of a cracker. But it was in Sky’s Isleworth punditry bunker that the real entertainment unfolded, provided by ringmaster Ed Chamberlin and his analysis team of Gary Neville, Thierry Henry and – on the rare occasions he could get a word in edgeways, even if that word was “eugolising”, one he’d just made up – Jamie Carragher, as they wondered what it’s all about and where it’s all going wrong for the Arsenal.
While Henry’s languid sophistication, studied poses from The Big Book Of Chris Eubank Hand Gestures and amusing habit of almost completely turning his back on poor Carra as if he was some hyperactive kid constantly interrupting while the important football men were talking, it was Neville who made the headlines by suggesting Arsène Wenger is either arrogant or naive to think Arsenal can Arsenal their way to the title with a central midfield arsenal endlessly comprised of wispy scampering pixies that a strong gust of wind could blow over.
“I cannot get my head around why he would would not sign players of power to assist these talented players who he’s got, to enable them to win the league,” said Neville. “You cannot win the league with those types of players,” he added, pointing an accusatory finger at the two red discs representing Santi Cazorla and Francis Coquelin on his big screen o’analysis. It’s either naive or arrogance, because they keep losing this way.”
When the England assistant manager’s comments were put to Wenger in his post-match press conference, the Frenchman was fairly sniffy in his dismissal of Neville’s dismissal of most of his work over the past 11 years. “Look, I don’t know what that has to do with arrogance,” he said, before going on to point out that people are entitled to their wrong opinions, which he could prove aren’t right if he wanted to but wasn’t going to bother … so there. “When you don’t win, you’re wrong and people find reasons,” he added. “Are they good reasons? I have enough experience to know when it’s right and when it’s wrong,” said the manager whose team last won the title in 2004, have already dropped five points this season and found themselves at the receiving end of 0-0 thrashing on Monday night as their midfield set about emphatically proving Neville’s point. Whisper it, but The Fiver thinks that … finally, this could be their year.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I am also totally sure it will be far more authentic and realistic than the Legends movie about the Krays with Tom Hardy starring” – a review on IMDb for The Rise of the Krays, financed by half of West Ham’s Gollivan. But are the reviews all they seem to be?
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“The logo for the Club World Cup in Japan really doesn’t do much to dispel the speculation that the denizens of Fifa reside in a hollowed-out volcano” – Jim Hearson.
“Spare a thought for the Sion FC goalkeeper, Andris Vanins, who made an almighty blooper against Young Boys in the Swiss Super League this weekend to give away the first goal as they slipped to a 1-3 defeat” – Jez Smith.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Jim Hearson. But also a retrospective award to Graham Fair. Thanks Graham!
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BITS AND BOBS
D1ck Advocaat is not happy at all. “I am not happy at all,” fumed the Sunderland boss, whose team face Exeter City in the Milk Cup on Tuesday. “We have to improve and we can only improve if we get some other players in. We really need two or three more players. I have told everyone and I will keep saying it until the last day – but not much has happened.”
Virtuosity star Russell Crowe doesn’t seem like he’s going to lead a takeover for Nasty Leeds after all. “Economics tell the folks in my organisation we could smash this, but, I know the personal toll it takes, and I know without my actual hands on the wheel in Leeds I can’t guarantee investors a return,” he roared. “I’ve loved [Nasty] Leeds all my life. I will always. I will not though steal anymore time from my children. It’s that simple.”
It’s sales time at Real Madrid and Spurs hope that pitching up in a tent at the front of the queue outside will help them get a £15m bargain in Asier Illarramendi.
They’ve also got £22m with Saido Berahino’s name on it, but West Brom aren’t having any of it. “The sale of this player is not on our agenda,” chirped chairman Jeremy Peace.
Southampton will make a move for £10m-rated Queen’s Celtic defender Virgil van Dijk after he plays in the Big Cup play-off against Malmo.
West Ham striker Diafra Sakho has reportedly been arrested on suspicion of making threats to kill and intimidating a witness.
Mario Balotelli: back in Serie A.
Juan Cuadrado: back in Serie A.
And a crowdfunding page to raise money for Jimmy Greaves’ physio treatment has now raised almost £7,000 of its £30,000 target.
STILL WANT MORE?
It’s a one half of Gollivan special as West Ham’s co-owner dons his lycra in the latest instalment from David Squires.
Michael Cox has the skinny on Arsenal’s makeshift defence and how Petr Cech shut out Liverpool.
Former Juventus forward and new MLS golden boy Sebastian Giovinco opens up to Howard Megdal about life at Toronto FC.
This week’s Gallery asked for your takes on Claudio Ranieri. Here’s what you came up with. Next: send us your John Stones.
Martin Laurence pulls out his calculator to work out how Leicester are playing so darn well.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
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