Debt: $70,000+
Source: College and consumer debt
Estimated years until debt free: 10
I am 45 and have been in debt continuously since I was 19 and got my first credit card. The credit card limit on that first credit card was $500. I remember the feeling I had when I got that first card; I felt validated as an adult and proud of myself. Today, the largest credit card limit out of my five credit cards is $19,000, several thousand dollars more than my entire annual salary at 19.
I decided to go to college in my mid-20s, while I was briefly married, with the encouragement of my then (much older) husband. The marriage didn’t work out, but I continued with college while working part-time as a legal secretary. Despite that job, my student loan debt for my bachelor’s degree was $27,000. The implications of capitalizing interest and deferring payments from time to time as I hit financial hurdles and a brief period of unemployment in my late 30s didn’t register. I figured it would all work out in the long run. Now, at 45, after 15 years of making required payments, and heading into the long run, I still have over $32,000 in college debt. The interest alone costs me $8.00 a day.
I don’t regret the choice to go to college later in life and complete a degree, despite the debt. It created opportunities for me beyond the secretarial trap. Credit cards supplemented the gaps in my income while I developed a new career in the software industry at the end of the 2000 dotcom boom. My income took off. What had been a fairly modest level of consumer debt blossomed over the next 10 years as credit card companies provided me with more generous lines of credit.
Today, I have about $70,000 in college and credit card debt. At this point, there is no honorable reason for the debt, especially the credit card portion, just a steady pattern of poor choices and living slightly beyond my means for stretches. There are no major medical bills, major crises or dependants. I do not have anything to show for the debt. There is no shoe closet stacked with Louboutins, no exotic travel or any massive television screens in my modest one-bedroom apartment.
I would be embarrassed if people close to me found out how much debt I am in, especially my boyfriend. He has no idea how much debt I have. I avoid the topic of a long-term commitment with him; I would feel compelled to tell him about my debt and am afraid he would reject or resent me. Marriage? Forget it. And I don’t expect him to bail me out of this situation, even if he could.
As long as I stay employed at my current income level, I will be OK, eventually. If I were to lose my job, I would be screwed. I try not to think about it a lot. Part of me feels like it could be a release or a relief if I lost my employment and could no longer pay my debts.
Another part of me is fueled by this situation. I’m smart, right? I have been unemployed only twice in my life. I was able to transform my career from legal secretary to software professional. At 45, it is time to figure this out and fix this. I am slowly draining an IRA to pay down the credit card debt and minimizing my retirement contributions. I can no longer put off the hard choices like I did in my 20s and 30s. I hope I can fix this situation before it’s too late.
