Let’s talk about an athlete. But not just any athlete, a professional athlete. And not just any professional athlete: a man who has distinguished himself from his peers.
He has a strong arm capable of launching throw after throw with velocity unimaginable to most mortals. He is powerfully-built. He is one of the most physically durable athletes of his generation, with a career that has lasted more than three times longer than the average career. His remarkable body recovered from an injury that sends most athletes into retirement. He has quickness, agility and can stop on a dime. He has more than enough straight-line speed to get the job done and he is blessed with a second gear, too. He has a low center of gravity. He has shown the ability to quickly adapt and make improvements to his game. He has won awards and been a frequent All-Star. And his team-mates refer to him as an “incredible athlete”.
Have I not just described a remarkable athletic specimen? A man who is, by any fair measure, one of the premier athletes in his sport?
I have. And, therefore, Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon, the man described above, is one of the greatest athletes in baseball. Talk all you want about Colon’s neck cascading into a belly that dips down near a set of cankles, none of that gets close to tipping the scales away from a career resumé that is better than most every baseball player who is trim and cut. You don’t judge a book by its cover and you don’t judge an athlete by an extra 60lbs of protective padding. Colon is a front-of-the-rotation starter on a winning team at age 42 and he’s worked to improve his batting now that he’s a National League fixture, getting hits in each of his last two starts - including an RBI in a one-run win on Sunday. He should be getting statues, not snickers. (I mean, “snickers” as in laughs, not Snickers the candy bar ... even though Colon probably has a lot of those. Gah! See? Even in hailing Colon’s athletic ability it’s easy to fall for the lazy weight joke.)
Bartolo Colon is undoubtedly a great athlete. Is he the greatest athlete in baseball? I don’t know. It depends on if you think Andrew McCutchen, Mike Trout and Bryce Harper will still be playing at a high level and improving at age 42.
Oh, did I just blow your mind? Or, at the very least, knock your helmet off?
The baseball vine that ends all baseball vines! Bartolo Colon swing and a miss and loss of a helmet! #Mets https://t.co/qNTzQ1RBVJ
— In Mets We Trust (@InMetsWeTrust) June 30, 2014
Quote of the Week
He should’ve jogged. Be a baseball player. Sorry I hit you. Run
Tony Cingrani, Cincinnati Reds reliever, on Bryce Harper staring him down after Cingrani hit him in the back with a pitch on Friday night.
Whoa. Hey, I’m more than willing to call Colon an athlete. Even the best athlete in baseball. But I draw the line at a middle reliever of all people telling Bryce Harper when he’s supposed to run. Running for relievers is a light, pre-game jog along the warning track. You can’t say “be a baseball player: run,” when your version of being a baseball player is spending most games sitting down for nine innings and chatting to your friends about attractive girls in the crowd. When Harper was just standing there, he was being a baseball player. He was being a reliever.
Stat of the Week
.510. Last season, the Texas Rangers, Houston Astros and Minnesota Twins had the three worst records in the American League. This season, with April and May in the books, each has a winning percentage of .510 or above – with the Astros and Twins even in first place in their respective divisions. These huge turnarounds have to give hope to the AL’s current bottom feeders: the A’s, Red Sox, and Blue Jays. Although you may think your season is over, don’t give up all hope, fellas! There’s always next year.
Or in the case of the Red Sox and Blue Jays, there’s always this year. Both AL East teams are: a) lousy; b) within a handful of games of first in their division. If Billy Beane is searching for some new market inefficiency to make his team a contender again, here it is: playing in the AL East. Time to stick the team in a moving truck and head towards the Atlantic Ocean, Mr Beane. To paraphrase Brad Pitt: “There’s 50 feet of crap. And then there’s the American League East.”
This Week’s Horrible Fantasy Team That Crushed Your Team
Khris Davis, OF, Brewers - 7-for-15, 2 HR, 2 RBI
Nori Aoki, OF, Giants - 13-for-28, HR, 2 RBI, SB
Francisco Cervelli, C, Pirates - 9-for-20, HR, 4 RBI
Adam Rosales, 2B, Rangers - 7-for-16, HR, 2 RBI
Williams Perez, P, Braves - 13 innings, 1 win, 10 K, 0.69 ERA
Chad Bettis, P, Rockies - 16.1 innings, 2 wins, 14 K, 1.10 ERA
Cubs World Series Odds: Holding steady
The Cubs scuffled a bit this week, going 2-3 in a homestand against (fellow?) World Series contenders the Washington Nationals and Kansas City Royals. But they beat the Royals Sunday on a walk-off RBI single by backup catcher David Ross, the Cubs’ MLB-leading sixth walk-off win of the young season. That many walk-off wins seems impressive, but Tony Cingrani probably finds it disrespectful.
A-Rod-ness of the Week
A-Rod raised his batting average 26 points this week from .255 to .281 thanks to going 11-for-26 with a home run and 4 RBI. If you haven’t voted for Rodriguez already as the American League’s All-Star designated hitter, you can do so here. Do your part to make the All-Star Game as uncomfortable for baseball as you can. We may never be able to appropriately punish MLB for years of choosing World Series home-field via an exhibition game decided in the late-innings by backups. But having the fans vote A-Rod into the All-Star Game a year after his suspension would be a nice way to make the event a bit more absurd, only on our terms this time.
Phillies-ness of the Week
Phillies general manager of ruining development Ruben Amaro had this to say to CSN Philly last Monday about the remaining Phillies fans in Philadelphia: “They don’t understand the game. They don’t understand the process. There’s a process. And then they bitch and complain because we don’t have a plan. There’s a plan in place and we’re sticking with the plan. We can’t do what’s best for the fan. We have to do what’s best for the organization so the fan can reap the benefit of it later on. That’s the truth.”
Since those comments the Phillies have lost every game they’ve played, and a total of seven in a row – and nine of 10 – to fall to 19-33. What a mic drop moment for Amaro. How can stupid Philadelphia fans think the organization isn’t sticking to anything when the team loses every day? Morons.
Reader Twitter Question of the Week
@DJGalloEtc Will things always be this good?
— 2008 Phillies (@2008Philz) June 1, 2015
It’s unfortunate this column always has to focus on the negative about the Phillies. But since the column is focused on baseball in the Year 2015, there’s only negative to write. However, there is a new Twitter account that can take Phillies fans back to the exciting, championship days of 2008.
Teams hate to play them!
Almost every Phils hitter is on fire lately. Brett Myers: "It's ridiculous. I feel bad for anybody that has to pitch against us right now."
— 2008 Phillies (@2008Philz) May 30, 2015
Chase Utley is good!
Phillies notes: Victorino has an 11 game hit streak. Coste is batting .341 with a .999 OPS. Utley leads the entire NL in all-star voting.
— 2008 Phillies (@2008Philz) May 31, 2015
Fans are attending their games!
Phillies (31-24) about to get underway at home against the Marlins (30-22). Phils looking for their 5th straight W. Paid attendance: 45,118
— 2008 Phillies (@2008Philz) May 30, 2015
Thanks to @2008Philz, 2008 doesn’t seem so long ago. Except it was long ago. Quite long ago. So long ago that this is the first tweet ever sent by the Phillies:
Flande set to represent Phils in Futures Game: Flande set to represent Phils in Futures Game http://bit.ly/wpVE1
— Phillies (@Phillies) July 8, 2009
Yep. It’s from 2009. The first year of their downward spiral that shows no sign of ending. The Philadelphia Phillies: baseball titans of the pre-Twitter age.
10 Things You’d Think I’d Think to Think
1) Bryce Harper is on pace to hit more than 50 home runs, but he reportedly doesn’t want to compete in the Home Run Derby at the All-Star Game. This is another blow to an event that hasn’t been exciting for years. Like the NBA’s dunk contest, sports fans watch the home run derby now more out of habit than for entertainment. It’s less a contest for power hitters than a grueling endurance challenge for viewers to see how long they can withstand Chris Berman’s buffoonery. The event needs a dramatic overhaul.
2) Did someone say the home run derby needs a dramatic overhaul? Great idea! Here’s my plan for a new derby: ban power hitters from competing. When Bryce Harper and Mike Trout and Giancarlo Stanton take BP, we expect home runs. In fact, every ball that doesn’t fly over the fence is a bit of a disappointment. We know they can hit for power. Seeing them lay into 75mph pitchers for two hours gets a little boring. So why not let players who don’t have any power swing for the fences? Fill the derby roster with the starting position players who have the fewest home runs at the All-Star break. Seeing Juan Pierre trying to go yard on a batting practice pitcher would have been must-see TV. Pierre is retired now. We failed him. But there’s still time to showcase the powerless hitters of today. The average viewer can relate to someone who struggles to hit the ball out of the infield. Home runs by power hitters are a formality. Home runs by the Juan Pierres of the world are a victory for humanity.
3) For the past week, Pirates centerfielder Andrew McCutchen has been using Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood as his at-bat music. McCutchen has hit .363 since then and the Pirates have won five games to shoot back up the National League standings. So if haters want to hate, hate, hate, hate his music selection, I’d suggest McCutchen just, you know ... ignore them.
4) Here’s McCutchen making two young Pirates fans in San Diego quite happy on Saturday night:
This is great https://t.co/JM07BLThF7
— Michael Lee (@MrMichaelLee) May 31, 2015
What a cool gesture. It’s just too bad they didn’t have anything for McCutchen to sign. If they had a blank space, baby, he’d write his name. (Oh, for real? Those are Taylor Swift lyrics? Wow, I totally wouldn’t know that because I, of course, don’t listen to her music.)
5) Golden State Warriors guard and splash brother Klay Thompson attended the Oakland A’s game on Sunday. So consider him out for at least Game 1 of the finals. There’s no way an unconcussed person who is thinking clearly would attend an Oakland A’s game.
6) In Josh Hamilton’s first week back with the Rangers, he’s hitting .273 with two home runs and 5 RBI, including a pinch-hit, game-winning, two-run double on Sunday that pushed Texas above .500. Now, is it unlikely the Rangers dispatched Hamilton on a diabolical mission in 2013 to sign with the Angels, take $125m from them, play horribly, expose Arte Moreno as a merciless monster and then, with Anaheim destroyed from within, go back to a retooled Ranger team and return to his raking ways? Sure. It is very unlikely. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pretend that’s exactly what happened because that fictional scenario is pretty awesome.
7) A week ago, media speculation was that Reds manager Bryan Price was on the verge of getting fired. Now Cincinnati has won four of five, including a three-game sweep of the first-place Nationals. Let’s hope these recent happenings haven’t lowered Price’s respect for the baseball media.
8) This is quite a stat:
How important is the 1-1 pitch? Hitters strike out twice as often after a 1-2 count (41%) than after a 2-1 count (20%)
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) May 31, 2015
Although it makes you wonder how often pitchers give up home runs after seeing that stat, causing them to throw 1-1 pitches right down the middle of the plate.
9) Nationals (former) ace Stephen Strasburg has been placed on the disabled list with neck tightness. Not surprising. Strasburg has a 6.55 ERA and has given up 64 hits in 45.1 innings this year. You don’t need to be a doctor or have the WebMD app to know that neck tightness is a symptom of whiplash.
10) The Chicago Cubs wore throwback Chicago Whales jerseys on Sunday.
Arrive early for tonight’s game! The first 10K fans get a Chicago Whales Replica Throwback Jersey by @Benjamin_Moore. pic.twitter.com/z1u6fLr26X
— Chicago Cubs (@Cubs) May 30, 2015
The Whales existed from 1914 to 1915 and were the original inhabitants of Wrigley Field. Sunday was no doubt an exciting day for the many original Whales fans still waiting in line for the bathroom. Keep holding it, guys and ladies. You’ll be at the front of the line soon and 100 years-worth of relief will feel amazing.
