Off-screen announcer: "Jimmy Garoppolo, you just lost the Super Bowl! What you doing next?!"
Jimmy Garoppolo: "I'm going to the waiver wire!"
So suggests the fertile imagination of ESPN's Skip Bayless
Right up front, understand Bayless has never been a Jimmy G fan. And he is prone to advocate for things that would never, ever come to pass.
But he made some interesting assertions Monday morning on "The Undisputed."
"I've been staunch in this position from the start, I don't believe in him." Bayless said of Jimmy Garoppolo. "I think deep down you don't really, really trust him when the playoff chips are down."
Bayless invoked a newspaper article that he saw in the Bay Area last summer. "It made the point that the 49ers can cut Garoppolo and his huge contract just two years in and leave only $4.2 million in debt money on their (salary) cap. So they have an escape hatch here that they can take if they so choose."
We know what you're thinking. Why in the Wide, Wide World of Sports would the 49ers dump a quarterback who just took them to the Super Bowl with no tested backup?
Bayless is way ahead of you. Tom Brady, of course.
"I would cut Garoppolo and I would sign Tom Brady for two more years," he said. "Because Tom Brady would love to go home. He started as a 49er fan in San Mateo. He posted a great picture when Candlestick Park closed. He was at the Montana-to-Clark catch game. He was a huge Joe Montana fan. Tom could finish at home where his parents live, just right up the 101. You could get home in about 10 minutes from (Levi's) Stadium."
Two things. One: There have been a handful of rumors where Brady will play next and why it's a fit for him. New England? It's where he won a six-pack of Super Bowl trophies, and it's what he knows best. Tennessee? His former teammate Mike Vrabel coached the Titans to the AFC Championship game. San Diego? The Chargers are in the market for a starting quarterback, and it gets the Brady closer to their "welcoming, eco-conscious" L.A. mansion. The Raiders, well, who in their right mind would go there?
And two: Ten minutes to drive from Levi's to San Mateo? Maybe in George Jetson's world. In Tom Brady's world he would lead the NFL in talking books.
But we digress.
"If I'm John Lynch, if I am Kyle Shanahan," Bayless said, "I'm thinking, we are so close.
"If I could have Tom Brady at still a pretty high level for Tom Brady, and if I had him (Sunday) night, I believe they won have won. I would do that for two years. I would give you a better shot at winning the next two Super Bowls with Tom Brady than Jimmy Garoppolo.
"There is some haywire gene in Jimmy G. He's capable of a big, good game like New Orleans and he's also capable of (Sunday) night.
