Retirement planning is rarely smooth, but for Linda, a 64-year-old caller to "The Ramsey Show," the problem wasn't the numbers — it was her husband.
She earns about $115,000 a year as a nurse and real estate agent, while her husband brings in about $45,000. Together, they still owe roughly $180,000 on their home, though it's valued closer to $400,000. Linda's ready to downsize, sell her rentals, and enter retirement without debt. Her husband? He's not interested.
"He just does not want to pay the house off," Linda explained. "When we retire, we're not going to have a house payment because we're going to have to sell it and downsize. Well, he's definitely not on board with that, and I don't really know how to get him on board."
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Assets But No Agreement
Linda has built a solid balance sheet: about $175,000 in her 401(k), two rental properties worth roughly $200,000 combined, and two cars she recently paid off. One rental has only $12,000 left on the note, the other about $62,000. The second was purchased to provide housing for her daughter-in-law battling cancer, allowing Linda to support her family while investing.
Her husband, however, has no retirement savings and doesn't participate in the rental management. That gap in involvement and vision has been a hallmark of their 29-year marriage.
"You've got a pretty significant challenge going on in your marriage," Ramsey told her. His co-host Dr. John Delony was even more blunt: "That's exactly the situation I'd set up with Buddy and Craig, my two college roommates. That's not a marriage. That's a couple of roommates."
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Ramsey's Tough Words
As Linda described their separate accounts and household split, Ramsey grew sharper. "This is so painful," he said. "You guys are so disconnected."
He laid out the reality: if Linda tries to "make peace" with her husband's reluctance, she'll likely have to sell her rentals to clear the mortgage, because they don't have enough savings to pay it off outright. Worse, her husband would end up relying on her retirement savings since he hasn't built his own.
Then Ramsey spelled out the ultimatum she'd eventually have to deliver: "I can't keep dragging you, and you can't keep using me as your bank, and you can't keep using me as your sugar mama. I need a husband. I don't need another child."
That, Ramsey said, might mean counseling, a shake-up in the marriage, or even walking away. The alternative is decades more of what Linda already described — one partner doing the financial heavy lifting while the other coasts.
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The Bigger Lesson
Ramsey and Delony made a crucial point: this isn't merely a debt problem — it's a disconnect between two people. That's hardly uncommon. According to Fidelity's 2024 Couples & Money study, 45% of partners admit they argue about money at least occasionally, and more than a quarter name it as their biggest relationship challenge.
Even more striking, a 2025 Experian study found that nearly one in three people ended a relationship over finances, and 32% feel uncomfortable talking to their partner about money, with many admitting it leads to multiple arguments each year. These figures make Linda's frustration not an outlier, but a signal—money tension is rampant, and it often signals deeper issues.
What Comes Next?
Ramsey and Delony framed two paths: accept the drift, or "cause a ruckus." He called for a turn-around: counseling, a shared financial plan, and open talk—not just for the budget, but for the relationship itself. "Avoidance cannot be a strategy," he warned.
Linda's story shows how financial peace requires more than assets. It needs a shared direction—and the courage to demand clarity.
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