If there’s one thing anyone shouldn’t do at a bookstore, it’s to tell a bookworm that they could grab any book and walk out with it for free. Lacey threw out an irresistible suggestion to her husband, Trey, on his birthday at Barnes & Noble. He went from normal book shopper to BookTok villain in a matter of seconds.
“It’s your birthday. You have five minutes to grab whatever you want, and I’ll buy it for you,” Lacey said to her husband during his birthday. They were at Barnes & Noble at the time, and Trey was leisurely perusing the book aisle. He slowly turned to her in disbelief.
Then, he said, “Do you understand how irresponsible a financial decision that just was?” He was up-close-and-personal, still shocked that his wife would suggest such a thing.
“This went from a book-shopping trip to a tactical operation,” he said. “Do you even know who you married?” Even for a birthday, nobody should ever be offering readers the opportunity to grab books they could run with for free. They already hoard piles of books on their shelves that they don’t read. What made her think her husband wouldn’t just make a mad dash for the shelves and grab a bunch of fascinating books that he might simply add to the shelf at home?
“I can clear fantasy and romance in under four minutes,” he said, but Trey had already spent thirty seconds on the monologue alone.
“The employees are about to become concerned,” he warned. “I’m going to turn Barnes & Noble to Barnes & Nervous.”
The villain monologue continues at Barnes & Noble
“I’m grabbing books right now. You won’t even see me move,” Trey said. Maybe he’s already cleared the aisles. Lacey is doomed because he must have already brought all the books home. Trey did promise that he’d zero his wife’s bank account—and nothing’s more frightening than a bookworm on the hunt for more books.
But TikTok wasn’t convinced—Trey broke out in a classic BookTok monologue, after all. He may have even beaten most Final Fantasy villains, who notoriously give out the details of their evil plans and their tragic backstories. Shouldn’t he be making a run for the books by now?
One commenter wrote, “Just like a villain. Wasting time monologuing.”
Others, though, thought that Trey was just giving his wife’s wallet a fighting chance. If he had the full five minutes to himself, he probably would have found a way to bring Barnes & Noble all the way home.
Another said, “Bro spent 1:30mins monologuing because he knew it made no difference. Those 3:30 mins were enough.” Trey did threaten everyone by saying he already had the layout of the bookstore mapped out. He didn’t need five minutes to do his job—four and a half will do.
Although Trey didn’t rob the entirety of Barnes & Noble, he did come home with a stack and bag filled with books in a separate video. Lacey captioned the clip with, “Should I trust my husband’s smile in a bookstore? Or should I check our bank account balance?”
Everyone’s screeching for her to check the balance—but there doesn’t seem to be a need to do that. His smile and the flying kiss he gave to the camera say it all.
(featured images: Alec Adriano, thesocialgeekfamily, Jack in the Books)
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