It's the heart-wrenching feeling no one wants to feel - coming across a text message that could ruin everything.
And one woman in particular experienced this when she came across something she did not want to see while scrolling through her husband's old text messages.
On Mumset, a worried wife revealed she "wasn't snooping" while she was clearing out old phones to recycle, but stumbled upon a disturbing and "misogynistic" message her husband previously sent to a pal.
She asked: "How would you feel if your DH texted this to a friend?" on the forum.
The anonymous woman continued: "Before I go on I wasn't snooping! We have a load of old phones in a draw and I was going through them to recycle them. Some of them have been used by both me and DH in the past at various times. I was looking at what was on them to make sure they were wiped and to do so if not.
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"When I opened the texts on one of them the very first conversation was one between DH and his friend. I saw the word 'wife' so naturally wanted to know what was being said about me, thinking it'd be something either innocent or sweet and having no reason to think otherwise."
Feeling guilty for reading the enticing message which caught her eye, she went on: "Yes I know I shouldn't have read on and I know I'm wrong for doing so but the curiosity got the better of me, but feel free to judge because I know it was wrong.
"What DH had actually said was, 'You need to get a wife, all your meals cooked for you and always available for sex'.
"His friend replied saying DH should be more respectful as I'm lovely (aw) and that was the end of the conversation.
"The conversation was from 2018. We've been together for 17 years, married 15 and I've never heard him speak like this before."
The upset wife then asked people reading her post: "If you saw this would you just think it was blokey banter or be worried that's how he really saw you? Would it bother you? I can't help feeling a bit let down if I'm honest. I didn't read through anything else so I've no idea if he talks like this alot. And honestly DH is not the blokey bantery sort, he's very quiet and reserved.
"So YABU [you are being unreasonable] - blokey banter, think no more of it, I'm overreacting or YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] - it's a bit disappointing and feeling a bit sad about it is understandable."
In response to her question, many posted in the comment section.
There was a mixed response, with some agreeing the text message was "vile" and others brushing it off as "blokey banter".
One wrote: "It's not great, is it?"
"Why is it okay if it’s blokey banter? It's vile misogyny," a second penned.
A third added: "That's pretty disgusting."
Others defended her husband, with one saying: "I would take it as blokey banter myself. S**t blokey banter."
Another advised: "I couldn't find the energy to get particularly worked up about it. I know I'll probably get abuse but YABU. I thought you were going to say he'd been sexting your friend."
A third asked: "I would imagine it was a joke … from 4 years ago. Rather than worry about it, reflect on how he actually treats you, do you have a happy an equitable relationship?
"Personally, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I've probably said similar about my husband to my girlfriends.
"If this is the biggest issue in your relationship, you are probably doing quite well."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
