Far be it for a mere mortal to cast aspersions at Tiger Woods, who barring an upset on the scale of Paris Hilton becoming a nun, will win the US PGA at Southern Hills later today, but the world No1 is a serious killjoy when he catches a whiff of a major championship victory.
Friday's 63 was a collector's item. Yesterday's 69 was good enough to stretch his two-shot lead at the start of the day into a three-shot lead but it was seriously tedious. I'll try that again; it was brilliant, but not, in a way. By which I mean: wake me up when it's over.
Of course, it's not Woods's fault that he knows that once he hits the front at one of these things, everybody else in the field starts playing for second place. That is why he has never lost major in which he led after 54 holes; 12 and oh, as they say on the Golf Channel. Make that 12 and oh no.
The problem is, of course, that he doesn't have an Arnie to his Jack. He doesn't have a Trevino, a Player or a Watson either. What he has got - well, for today and today only - is Stephen Ames alongside him in the final pairing of the day.
The Trinidadian/Canadian is three shots behind Woods on the leaderboard and, like everybody else who finds themselves in his position, is approximately 50 shots behind in his head. If that sounds little bit harsh, can I direct you to this self-incriminating morsel from Ames' post-round press conference last night: "He [Woods] has got a three-shot lead. Is it three? Yes, three-shot lead. Five in front of him might not be enough. We're three behind. We're just trying to get close to him. That's all we're trying to do."
It doesn't take Frasier Crane, or even Eddie the dog, to work out from that what today is likely to bring. Of course, Ames could go out today and prove everybody, including himself, wrong. Here's hoping he does. Otherwise how are we going to stay awake?
