Attention, Middleton-gazers: this week your favourite Duchess of Cambridge family member is James.
Last week, you may recall, we focused on news that Pippa Middleton was on the cusp of being gifted a reporting job by NBC’s Today show. This week takes us, once again, to US breakfast TV, where Kate’s brother, James, has been talking about his sister in the course of promoting his latest venture: personalised marshmallows.
Forgive me, but let me just stick my readers on and check that that is absolutely correct. Yup … yup, there it is. Personalised marshmallows.
Look, I’m not going to bore you with the royal gossip James dished, because frankly, he had me at personalised marshmallows. If a sixth-form satirist had to design a product wherein all the promise and profundity of late-stage capitalism were distilled, it would surely be personalised marshmallows.
In this confection, surely, we must see the ultimate marriage of form and content, of sugar and selfies, of gelatine and utter – utter – futility.
Clearly, James must be hanging out for the royal warrant for Boomf (for thus his firm is named). But for those of us who wish him well in his tireless fight for recognition from an establishment so desperate to withhold it from him, he has already earned the imprimatur. By appointment to all right-thinking early 21st-century earthlings: Boomf. Purveyors of Hope.
