Name: Roger Waters
Age: 70
Full name: George Roger Waters.
Appearance: Jeremy Paxman's wayward brother.
Funny, there's a bloke in Pink Floyd with the same name. This is that Roger Waters: singer, songwriter, Pink Floyd founder, progressive rock god.
What's he up to? Are the Floyd getting back together? No. He's writing letters.
I suppose that is quite unusual these days. To whom? To actor Scarlett Johansson. He got no reply, so he wrote to her again. And even then, she didn't write back.
Did he take the hint? Not really. He ended up publishing the gist of his missives on his Facebook page.
Ah, that scourge of modern times, the open letter. What did it say? The last line began, "Scarlett, you are undeniably cute…"
I don't like where this is going one bit. "…but if you think SodaStream is building bridges toward peace you are also undeniably not paying attention."
SodaStream? Peace? Did I miss something? Are you not familiar with the controversy surrounding Scarlett Johansson's endorsement of SodaStream, and her Superbowl halftime advert for the revamped fizzy drink appliance of yesteryear?
No. I have undeniably not been paying attention. SodaStream produces its product in an Israeli factory in occupied Palestinian territory, and Scarlett was also an ambassador for Oxfam. She was forced to choose between the two, shall we say, conflicting roles.
And? She chose SodaStream, citing their commitment to equal rights and their employment of 500 Palestinian workers.
Did she also cite the giant contract she has with them? Not explicitly.
What made Waters decide to stick his oar in? Waters is a longstanding and outspoken critic of Israeli policy toward Palestine, and an advocate of boycotting Israel.
And patronising women. His tone was a bit condescending. And sexist. But he also wrote to Neil Young, criticising his decision to play a gig in Tel Aviv in July.
Did that letter contain the words, "Neil, you are undeniably cute"? It seems unlikely. When it comes to cuteness, Young has full deniability.
Do say: "Johansson and SodaStream fail to build bridge over troubled Waters."
Don't say: "Dear Scarlett, I've enclosed a self-addressed, stamped envelope with my latest rant. How about a signed photo?"
